Fake out: ChickFil-A

"Wow, mom! Did you get this from Chick-Fil-A?" -My 9 year old daughter. 

When I say that this recipe comes pretty damn close to CFA's chicken... I mean it. Rumor has it that they pressure cook their chicken then fry them, but, I don't have any time for that! Is it the EXACT recipe replica? No. Will it fool your family? There's only one way to find out. 


3 Chicken breasts
1 Cup Dill Pickle Juice
1 Pkg of Ritz Crackers
2 Handfulls Cheezits 
2/4 Cup flour

2 cups Peanut or Sunflower Oil

Butterfly your chicken and pound it a few times. We don't want it flat... just tenderized slightly. Next, decide whether you want a sandwich, tenders or nuggets. Slice your chicken breast accordingly and let it marinade in the pickle juice for 30 minutes. You can leave it longer and let it get even more flavorful. 

In a large ziplock bag add your crackers. Smash the crackers and add the flour. 

When your chicken is finished marinating, add the breast pieces to the bag of crumbs and shake them around, being sure to nicely coat them. 

Heat your oil in a skillet on high and fry them (in batches) for 7-9 minutes.  Sprinkle them with sea salt after they come out of the fryer and enjoy. 

Gone Paleo? Here's the alternate version. 

AICC2 goes NATIONAL!

REALLY QUICK! I'm pretty proud of myself these days! I push to do more, make goals and eat better (not less). I stopped telling myself that "I can't," anymore.

I sent in a letter a while back to Macaroni Kid, a web-based newsletter about family activities. The letter was about my weight loss. I have read the inspirational stories of "Fit Momma's" before me. I decided to submit my story.

Either the fitness editor really liked what I had to say or there weren't many stories submitted, but, NATIONAL Macaroni Kid chose my story to be featured as 'Momma Gone Fit!' They even plugged this blog!

If you are interested in reading my WHOLE story (Working on part four with ANOTHER different supplement) you can read them here.

Part I: Lose Your Fat

Part II: Supplement Junkie

Part III: Zumba

Part IV: Strength Training & Paleo-ish (coming soon)

Pumpkin Muffins with Spiced Mascarpone Cream

Stock up on the puree, kids, because the pumpkin spiced apocalypse is upon us! I'm also riding the Paleopocalypse. Judge if you must, but, my migraines have subsided and my stomach no longer "muffins" over my jeans. Hell, I haven't been this smaller size in a long, long time. Speaking of muffins... try these bad boys right here! My husband thought they were awesome... and he's a Paleo pessimist.
SHAZAM!

Paleo Pumpkin Muffins:

Yields:  12 large muffins 

Prep: 15min   Bake: 55min  350º

1 cup Almond flour 

1 cup Coconut flour (sifted)

3/4 cup Pumpkin Puree 

3 Lg eggs

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice 

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup coconut sugar

1 heaping tbsp Almond Butter

1tsp coconut oil (melted)

1/4 cup water

1/2tsp sea salt

*1/3 cup dark chocolate chips

*1/3 cup chopped pecans

*1/4 cup flaxseeds 

-------

2 tbsp mascarpone cheese

The rest of the can of pumpkin puree 

1 tbsp honey

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Line your cupcake pan with muffin cups. Mix all of the muffin ingredients together. You'll notice that the consistency is somewhat lumpy. The coconut flour tends to do that- doesn't hurt the baking process a bit! Scoop the batter into the muffin cups and bake in a preheated oven for 50-60min at 350º.  *Feel free to omit these ingredients... but I wouldn't if I were you. They are so, so, sooooo gooood in this muffin! The muffins are ready when they are golden brown.

For the mascarpone filling:  Mix all of the ingredients together and chill while the muffins are baking. Add a dollop onto a warm muffin and DIG IN! You can eat TWO of these bad boys and it only counts as ONE SERVING?!  HELLO!

Simple Fruit Fly Trap: Kill those little S.O.B.'s!

No, this isn't a food recipe... unless you like fruit flies? They drive me bonkers!!!

Fruit flies are a real pain in the arse right around this time! Lucky for you, I have an irresistible trap... and I bet you have all of the things you need to create one:

1 Mason Jar (or a glass/cup)
1 Rubber band
1 piece of plastic wrap
1/4 cup of cider vinegar
1 squirt of liquid dish soap
1 splash of water

Combine the liquids in the mason jar. Cover the top with saran wrap and place the rubber band around it. Stretch the plastic wrap so it is tight across the top. Shake it up so bubbles appear. With a sharp steak knife, slice three 1" slits in the top of the plastic wrap. Set that bad boy out and walk away.



I guarantee, by the end of the day, you'll have a jar filled with dead flies. Look! Ew!

Peachy Pecan Pumpkin Spiked Ice Cream

I am the proud owner of a Cuisinart ice cream machine... as well as one BUSHEL of peaches. Oy! I decided to reserve a few from my canning endeavors and combine my love of peaches with my love of pumpkin spiced, well... everything. 

Be forewarned, this combination of heavy cream, nutmeg, and peaches is stupid good.

Stupid good. 

Peachy Pumpkin Spiced Ice Cream:  
Makes 1.5 quarts/ 10 Servings 

1 cup whole, (natural) milk 

2 cups of (natural) heavy cream

1 pinch of salt

3/4 cup of sugar 

1/2 cup of local honey 

4 medium, fresh peaches, skinned and diced

3 tsp pure vanilla extract

2 tsp pumpkin pie spice 

1/2 cup crushed pecans 

In a bowl, mix all of your ingredients together, except the honey and pecans. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Be sure to place your freeze bowl attachment in the freezer.

When you are ready to churn the ice cream (Ha! "Churn." More like, "push the 'start button") add the mixture to the freeze bowl and get that bad boy going! 

Once you notice the mixture creaming together, add your pecans. After the ice cream hardens, drizzle in the honey. You want to have hard bits of sweet honey hitting your taste buds! 

20 minutes later and VOILA! You have a delicious, all natural, ice cream.  If you want to reduce your artificial sugar intake, use all honey, but, slowly heat it together with the whole milk and then refrigerate. 

If you need more instructions on this, just leave me a message and I'll fill you in. 

If you're looking for MORE peach recipes, preferably of the jarring variety, check out my recipes devoted to peaches: Chutney and Habanero Peach BBQ. 

JAR 'DEM PICKLES!

Pickling is so damn easy. Refrigerator pickles or old fashioned brined pickles, makes no difference: You'll need the same ingredients, the same containers and a little patience.

• Ice water
• Cucumbers (3-4lbs)
• Vinegar (4 cups)
• Dill (a couple handfulls) 
• Garlic (1 bulb)
• Pickling Salt
• Sugar
• *Alum
• *Whole Peppercorns
• * Mustard seeds
• *Calcium Chloride (Pickle Crisp)

SLICERS VS PICKLERS! First, before you begin, let's talk CUKE! Do you have the right kind? There's a difference between your standard English salad cucumber (left) and a pickling cucumber (right). The skin on the cukes to the left are tougher and slightly bitter, while the cukes to the right have a thinner skin and a sweeter consistency... Perfect for CRUNCH!  I'm not saying you can't pickle the cucumbers to the left. Not at all! But, they aren't going to be those crispy pickles that you imagined. Trust me.

VINEGAR! GET CREATIVE! 
Don't be afraid to mix it up! I make an INSANE asian inspired pickle that I mix with seasoned rice wine vinegar. In another recipe, I use apple cider vinegar for my tart-n-tangy mix. The sky is the limit! Don't be afraid to try new things. Hint: Add some hot peppers in there for a spicy kick with a white/cider vinegar mix!

ADDITIVES: Calcium Chloride and Alum are both food additives. The Calcium Chloride in "Pickle Crisp" is a firming agent. It helps to preserve the ripeness of the cucumber, keeping it crisp, specifically with hot brining. Alum is "iffy."  It can create a crisper pickle, but, too much can cause bitterness to the brine. I would choose the Alum over a grape leaf, though. (Many old fashioned pickling recipes call for a grape leaf to be placed at the bottom of the mason jar. Grape leaves have tannins that help naturally ripen the cuke, but, it also releases those bitter tannins into the brine, leaving you with a funky spear) If you aren't an über organic cook, go with the CC. PS: You don't need these if you are cold packing your pickles. 

Terrifically Tangy Pickles:

(Refrigerator or Old Fashioned Brine) 

It's a BAP: Big Ass Pickler
(next to a Zucchini) 

1) Sterilize your mason jars! Botulism is bad!  (I used the big mason's for this project. My cukes got HUGE this year. No seriously... check it out!
2) Add some dill, a clove or two of garlic and 1/4 tsp of CC or Alum to the bottom of your jars
3) If you have them, add 1/2 tsp of whole peppercorns and mustard seeds.
4) Make a LARGE bowl of ice water  Slice your cucumbers and add them to the ice bath. Let them sit for 20 minutes to chill!
*5) In another bowl dissolve 1 cup of pickling salt and 1/2 sugar to 3 1/2 cups of white, distilled vinegar. Add 1/2 cup of cider vinegar

*** If you are going old fashioned, simmer #5's ingredients ***

6) Pack your icy cukes into the mason jars with the skin facing outward, toward the glass. I've found that it's easier to pack them that way.

Now... TASTE THE BRINE! Is it TOO salty? TOO sweet? Remember this is a super tangy version of dill pickles. Cucumbers harbor a TON of water already that helps to dissolve the tang. If the brine is too much for your tastebuds, add some water to it.  

7) Pour your cold or hot liquid over them and fill until the brine just covers the top of the spears and put a lid on it. If you are cold packing, immediately put those bad boys in the fridge. They should be ready to eat in 2 days. (They'll taste better the longer they rest, though) If you are hot brining the old fashioned way, seal them and drop them in a canning bath for 15 minutes. Let them rest until cool and they should be ready to eat within a few weeks. If you are new to the jarring process, check on my Jarring101: On the Cheap info.

Wanna make SRIRACHA PICKLES? 

GO GREEK! Souvlaki & Tzatziki Gyros

LESSON IN GREEK:

1) "Gyro" is pronounced "yee-roh."

2) The yummy cucumber sauce is called "Tzatziki" <sats-ee-kee>

3) The chicken, beef, pork or lamb pieces inside of your gyro is souvlaki. <soo-vlah-kee> Typically, the souvlaki is grilled on a skewer, like a kabob, with various spices.

Tzatziki

In a food processor, blend...

1/2 cucumber (skin on)

2 large garlic cloves,

lemon juice

1 tbsp fresh dill

1 turn of Olive Oil

salt to taste

Remove from processor, strain most of the water and add to

a bowl. 
Next add

1 cup of 2% greek yogurt (Faye is the best) and stir together. Reserve this in fridge until ready to serve.

**Rice is totally up to you, but, I like to use basmati with a hint of lemon juice**

Souvlaki

4oz of chicken breasts or sirloin or pork and cube into bite sized pieces. Tenderize them and put them in a large ziplock bag. Next add:

1 tbsp each: Oregano, mint, dill
2tbsp turn of olive oil

2 tsp each S & P

Brown in a skillet on high or grill on skewers until completely cooked.

In a warm pita, add a dollop of tzatziki, your chicken (or whatever meat you made), rice, feta cheese,

diced tomatoes, red onions, lettuce and Kalamata olives. In this Gyro, I'm using kale and romaine lettuce. I'm also using a wheat pita to save on the calories. All in all, this BIG, FAT, GREEK pita is around 400 calories. You can LOAD this sucker and still be eating healthy. Got leftovers? Take this bad boy with you for lunch and use the ingredients like a salad. Use the following dressing recipe and dig in. 

Yes, you'll want a mint. The cucumber sauce packs a garlicky wallop! Omit the mint if you deliberately want co-workers to leave you the 'eff alone.

450calories: Korean Quinoa

FYI: That Q-word is pronounced, "keen-wah." There. Now we can proceed. 

Quinoa is the new SUPER FOOD that is sweeping the nation. Contrary to popular belief, however, Quinoa has been a South American food staple since Machu Picchu. Not so new, now is it?

Quinoa resembles couscous or millet and is commonly mistaken for a grain. It's actually a seed from the goosefoot plant and grown almost exclusively in South America, although American farmers are trying to harvest it here. The Incas cultivated and dined on Quinoa for thousands of years.

This versatile little grain-like seed is loaded with 9 essential amino acids, thus deeming it a complete protein. Score! It is cooked just like rice, yet, has a shorter steaming time and it is way, way, waaaaay better for you. I have a few of my friends (and my husband) stick their nose up at Quinoa claiming that the taste can be "bitter" or "soapy." You must RINSE your Quinoa before you prepare it (unless is is already pre-rinsed) or you will be privy to it's saponins. Saponins are a plants natural immune system and are what can give Quinoa it's funny taste.

This recipe we are going to use combines an ancient South American staple (quinoa) and an ancient Korean staple (gochucjang). My gym friend told me if I could, "make Quinoa taste good," she'd give it another chance. I do believe I have found a way. I served this to my husband and he TORE. IT. UP. This recipe is cost friendly, simple and time effective. You can make this dish in 20 minutes. Check and mate. Enjoy!

KOREAN QUINOA

I found both at Walmart (of all places) 

Prep: 10 min.
Cook time: 20min.
Serves 2-3

1 cup quinoa
1 2/3 cup stock (chicken or vegetable)

5 chicken tenderloins, diced
2 tbsp Gochujang
2 tbsp Rice wine Vinegar- seasoned
1 tbsp olive oil
Snowpeas (2-3 handfulls) vertically sliced
5 baby carrots, sliced
Fresh baby spinach (2-3 handfulls)

1/2 cucumber, sliced
red pepper flakes
seasoned rice wine vinegar

In a bowl, thinly slice or "peel" your cucumber. Add 2 table spoons of seasoned rice wine vinegar and red pepper flakes. Toss it around and let it sit in the fridge until you are ready to serve.

In a 2qt pot, take your pre-rinsed quinoa and stock and bring them to a boil. Turn down the heat and cover for 15 minutes at a simmer. Check it often and stir. When your Quinoa is complete, start your chicken.

Coat your chicken in one tablespoon of gochujang and let it sit for a few minutes while you chop up your vegetables (if you haven't already done so). Heat a pan or a wok on high heat. Add your oil and saute your chicken until it is browned. Next add your rice wine vinegar and spinach and saute those until they are wilted. Next add your snow peas and carrots and saute those for a few minutes. Not too long, now. We still want that CRUNCH! Add another tablespoon of gochujong and 2/3 of your quinoa. Stir those together. Now TASTE IT! Does it need salt? More sauce? Alter it to YOUR tastebuds, not mine! Remember, you can throw as many different veggies that your tastebuds desire in this dish. Go crazy! I'm just using what I had on hand.

Serve it in a dish and add your sweet and spicy cucumbers to the top. For extra heat, drizzle some Sriracha on top! YUM!

Egg Drop Noodle soup with Sriracha

T'was the end of the school year for Mrs. Kertney. She was looking forward her summer break and couldn't wait to mash up the celebratory margarita ingredients she had waiting at home. As she was packing away her materials, Mrs. Kertney couldn't help but notice that her throat was feeling funny. "Does my throat hurt," she said to herself as she waved goodbye to another one of her after school students? She came home, stored away a few boxes in the basement, made dinner for her family and curled up in a feverish, chilly mess, unable to swallow anything. A trip to MedExpress the following morning would prove that her margaritas would have to wait. Strep throat had invaded her plans. MOTHER F#@#(&@ER! She needed soup. She didn't have any of the Campbells/Ramen variety and her husband wasn't answering his cell phone to bring her some. SON OF A B*#$! Plan B: Make some!

If you aren't dead on a toilet, you can make this soup. I did it, didn't I? Hell, I had a fever of 102º and my throat was on fire and my joints were pulsating... but I was super hungry and I needed something BESIDES yogurt and tea! Something SUBSTANTIAL that I could swallow dagnabbit!

Side note: Adding cider vinegar to your tea will do WONDERS for your sore throat because of it's high, bacteria killing acidity levels! Cider vinegar and honey is actually pretty tasty in raspberry flavored tea. It's probably tasty in any tea? Try it next time. Two capfuls of cider vinegar in one mug o' tea. 

You can serve your soup in a gold plated Mr. T
Stein for EXTRA power, foo'!  

 EGG DROP NOODLE SOUP... with Sriracha 
1 serving     7 minutes flat

2 cups of vegetable broth
1/4 cup pasta (any kind)
1 Scallion, sliced  (I used kitchen shears and cut them up)
1 egg
1 tsp Teriyaki sauce
Sriracha

Take your broth, sauce and pasta and let it boil for a good 5 minutes. Crack your egg directly into the bowl and stir it around with a fork. You will see it IMMEDIATELY turn white and lumpy. Add your handful of sliced scallions and 1 good squirt of Sriracha. Done.

You have just created a salty, nose opening, protein rich soup that will tame the sorest throat or the stuffiest nose. And... it's a Clean Eat. Now go and make your soup, take an ibuprofen, eat and get some rest. I pitty the Fool who doesn't get his rest!

Side, side note: Cold grapefruit (or grapefruit juice) is ANOTHER awesome sore throat remedy. It literally numbs the pain better than ANYTHING Vicks or Halls can come up with. Sprinkle a little Sugar in the Raw on top of a halved grapefruit and have at it! Thank me later.  

400 calorie: Teriyaki Ginger Lettuce Wraps

The health and fitness scene is all a buzz about this EATING CLEAN thing.  "Eat Clean? Like, take a shower before I eat? What does that even mean?"

First off, eating clean isn't a diet plan. It isn't really a new concept. It's a lifestyle commitment that is completely in your hands.  It's reaching for a handful of almonds in lieu of M&M's. It's chopping vegetables and adding them to your skillet in lieu of opening a pre-made frozen dinner. Eating clean means eliminating the processed, preservative rich food that makes us unhealthy and overweight. Eating clean is easier (and cheaper) than you think. It just takes some preparation. This recipe uses some simple, fresh ingredients that you can use on a M-Friday lunch schedule or cooking for a large crew? A serving size is 3 wraps (1 lettuce leaf with two heaping tablespoons of chicken mixture, each). I was full after just two. And just think, three of these bad boys are only around 400 calories.  Enjoy! 

This recipe is brought to you in collaboration with Absolute Fitness Academy's GYM KITCHEN

Ginger Soy Chicken Lettuce Wraps 

1 big ziplock bag 

1 head of Romaine Lettuce or pkg of  R.L.Hearts- washed and separated

1 pkg (2.5lbs) of Chicken Tenderloins- diced 

1 cup of steamed brown rice (check out my fool proof rice trick) 

1 can of water chestnuts, diced. 

Celery, minced 

4 Scallions, sliced reserve ½ 

bell peppers

2 Tbsp Teriyaki sauce (low sodium) 

1 Tbsp Oyster sauce

1 tsp ginger, grated

2 cloves garlic, minced

1 pkg broccoli slaw

1 cucumber, thinly sliced

¼ cup Seasoned rice wine vinegar

1) Prepare your rice per package directions. Check out my fool proof, measuring cup free technique for steaming rice. 

2) In a large ziplock bag, add your raw bite-sized pieces of chicken, the other half of the scallions, ginger, garlic, teriyaki and oyster sauce. Seal and refrigerate for a few minutes 15-30 minutes.

3) In a bowl, mix ½ of the broccoli slaw bag with sliced cucumbers. If you like heat, add some red chili flakes or actual chili pods. Add your rice wine vinegar and ½ scallions. Cover and set aside in the fridge. 

4) Heat up your wok to medium high heat. Add some olive oil when your pan is HOT and brown your chicken pieces. Once browned, add the water chestnuts, peppers and celery and saute for another few minutes. Next, turn down your heat to low and add the brown rice. 

5) When you are ready to eat, add two tablespoons of mixture in each Romaine leaf. Pull the cucumber broccoli slaw from the fridge and add that to the top of your mixture. Grab a napkin, because this can get a little messy... but it's worth it! YUM! 

-----------------------------------------------

FYI: The über athletes take it a step further by restricting all gluten with a stone-aged inspired PALEO diet. So, if you are going PALEO, just add the real ingredients and eliminate the rice and sauces. But because our cave dwelling ancestors life expectancy plateaued at the ripe old age of 38, I'm going to suggest preparing this recipe the "clean" way. I'll bet Fred and Wilma would have eaten these wraps my way, anyway. 

Dive into a Beaver Salad: 500 calories

Actual scene from a drive thru, the DAY we moved to Beaver County in 2008.

Me: Hi, I'd like to order two happy meals, one large Quarter Pounder meal and a Southwestern salad.
Drive Thru: What size fries did you want for your salad?
Me: I'm sorry, say that again?
Drive Thru: Fries for your salad. What size?
Me: Oh? Um... I don't want any fries? I ordered a salad.
Drive Thru: ... ...Whatever. Please drive around.

I offended Beaver, I think?

I live in Beaver County. Beaver is a Pittsburgh suburb nestled in the scenic foothills and valleys of the Appalachian mountains. It's known for it's once booming steel industry, top notch diving team, and their famous salads. What makes a Beaver Salad, you ask? No, not beavers. Beaver Countians top their salads with onions, hard boiled eggs, cheese, carrots and... wait for it...

STEAK & FRENCH FRIES! (I know)

Now, I've had some pretty funk-nasty versions of this salad over my 5 years here: Some topped with Steakumm, tater tots, scrambled eggs, pickles, etc. Needless to say the original salad is LOADED with calories. LOADED! My version uses sweet potato fries, balsamic vinaigrette and grilled corn. Sorry, no cheese. I must say that I prefer the sweet potato fries over the regular ones. Adds a whole new level of sweetness!

Beaver Salad :
Serves 3-4  Prep time: 20minutes

Sirloin tip roast (3-5lb)
Sweet potato fries, prepared per pkg directions (Alexia's frozen fries are excellent)
2 hard boiled eggs, diced
1/2  ice burg lettuce
1/2 package of spring salad mix
1 cucumber, sliced
Carrots, chopped
Ear of corn, boiled.
1/2 medium red onion, sliced
1 medium tomato, diced
Reserved steak juice
Balsamic vinaigrette

Get your sweet potatoes going in the oven per package directions... or... you can fry them? Up to you!

Prepare your sirloin with some olive oil (unless you have pre-oiled your grill grates), S&P, garlic powder and whatever your heart desires? I like Penzey's Sunny in Paris seasoning. Delicious rub for red meat! All you really need for a base seasoning is the above SP&G, but, go crazy! Who knows what you'll come up with? Get your grill going at a high temp (to get a good sear and lock in those juices) and grill to your preference. The Kertney clan likes theirs medium-medium rare.  Let the meat REST before slicing it. Steaks need a few minutes to let the juices redistribute for optimal flavor. Remember to reserve the "meat juice" for the vinaigrette.

FYI: Meat thermometers and steaks aren't friends. You poke a hole in your steak, the juices run out and you've ruined it. How to test your steak without gauging it? The trick to test meat for doneness is LITERALLY in the palm of you hand.  Check out this website for the finger method... the method most chefs use to determine doneness. 

 When your steak is just about finished cooking, take your pre-boiled ear of corn, rub some olive oil on it, S&P (Tajin is AWESOME on corn) and throw it onto the grill for 5 minutes. Get a mild char going, remove from the heat and slice the corn from the cob.

You are going to add ALL of the cold ingredients (salad veggies) to some salad bowls. Then add the one handful of sweet potato fries, a few tbsps corn, 5-7strips of sirloin, egg and the vinaigrette:

2 Tbsp Original Mrs. Dash seasoning
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup regular vinegar
1 packet of sweetener (or substitute 1/4 cup honey)
2 tbsp water
Meat juice
1/4 cup olive oil
S&P to taste

Whisk all of those together and BAM! Your lightened up Beaver Salad is complete. Each salad is under/around 500 calories and loaded with protein. (VS a REAL salad at 800+ calories) Don't quote me on the caloric intake, though. It's higher if you fry the sweet potato fries... but it's worth the cheat! Any dinner this tasty, this nutritious and under 600cal is a W-I-N in anyone's book!

PS: Beaver doesn't have a diving team... But they should.

Brining: It's not Rocket Surgery

From roasts, chops, all the way down to your Thanksgiving bird, brining is the best way to add a tremendous amount of flavor with very little effort. Brine baths are well known methods that chefs use to flavor and tenderize various cuts of meat. Sorry Gordon Ramsay, your mother %#!@ing secret's out, pal.

Don't get antsy. A brine is nothing more than a salty water bath used to preserve food.

NERD ALERT: Within the meat's preservation, the salt triggers the muscle tissue and breaks it down, thus tenderizing the meat and causing it to absorb all of the flavor you have submerged it in. 

The best thing about brining... it's fool proof. If you have salt, water and a large enough vessel to house whatever cut you are brining AND can keep it in the fridge overnight (or somewhere cold so it doesn't get funky) you're golden. If it's a large roast or bird, the key is to start the day before.
Smaller cuts of meat and poultry can be brined for 30min-2hours.

Here's what you'll need:

 drumsticks, lemons, basil, garlic, peppercorns

• 1 Large container- something that your cut of meat will fit in, submerged.
• Salt- I use kosher salt or pickling salt. 
• Various fresh herbs, lemons, garlic, peppercorns, onions... whatever your little heart desires. 
• honey 
• Water
• Ice 
• cold place 

Remember: 1 cup of salt for every gallon of water you use. To determine how much brine you'll need, place the meat to be brined in your chosen container. Add water to cover. Remove the poultry and measure the water.

In a medium stock pot add your salt, whole peppercorns, 1/2 cup honey (optional) and 2 cups of water. Let it dissolve and come to a boil. Add it to your container with your lemons, herbs, garlic, etc. (I don't even peel my garlic. I slice the whole bulb in half and throw it in) Next add a pitcher of ice and the remaining cold water. 

****WAIT UNTIL THE WATER GETS COLD BEFORE YOU SUBMERGE ****

Submerge your meat of choice into the brine bath, cover, and let it sit in the fridge. When you are ready, prepare your cut of meat or poultry however you wish. You won't need any extra salt unless you are making a rub for ribs or a roast. If you want to know how to make Chipotle Grill's delicious carnita's, check my fake out recipe: Fake Out: Chipotle Grill. Guess what? They use a brine. Olè! 

FAKE OUT: Chipotle Grill's Carnitas

"Chipotle Grill sucks," said no self respecting American ever.

Chipotle Mexican Grill is finally serving carnitas again. They took them off of the menu for a while there and I had to recreate them. Duh.

We're going to talk about how to make, arguably, the tastiest thing on Chipotle's menu, and it begins with a BRINE.

Pork brine: Shoulder roast (bone in) w/ garlic & peppercorns 

In a nutshell: Brine it's a salty bath for meat (or veggies). If you've never brined your meat (a'hem) you should consider it? It's just what happens to give these carnitas they're flavor packed spunk!

BRINE RECIPE <-- click

Chipotle Carnitas Recipe:
Prep time (after brining): 20minutes
Crock pot: 4+ hours
Feeds: Small army



1 large pork shoulder roast- something with a bone and fat. (Bone and fat is what makes it yummy. This logic is also true for yours truly. A'hem)
2-3 tbsp Chipotle seasoning or Penzey's Northwoods Fire Seasoning. (Any chipotle spice is fine, but if I'm coming over for dinner, use Northwoods)
1tbsp Cumin
1/2cup Reserved brine
1tbsp Koher Salt & FRESHLY cracked Pepper
2 turns of Olive Oil
1 can of Chipotle peppers in adobo (Only use one of those peppers w/ 2 tbsp Adobo sauce)
1 medium onion, sliced
2 cups beef Stock
Crock Pot

1. Turn your crock onto the highest temperature setting.
2. Remove the roast from the brine and discard all but 1/2 cup of brine. Set aside. Drizzle the roast with Olive Oil and rub your salt, pepper and seasoning onto it. In a large pot or skillet on high heat, sear ALL sides of the roast.

Q&A:  Could you do this on a grill? Yes. 

Can I smoke it for hours and get the same effect? Of course.  

Is it more time consuming to do those things when you have s*** to do? Absolutely. It would be delicious, don't get me wrong, just not very time friendly. 

3. After you have seared the roast, remove it an place in crockpot. Add another drizzle of oil to the pan and add your sliced onions and reduce heat to medium. Sauté onions for 5 minutes and add 1 large chipotle pepper and the 2 tablespoons of sauce. If you like heat, feel free to add another pepper but be forewarned: Those peppers are NO JOKE H-O-T!  Sauté the duo together for another 5 minutes and add 2 cups of stock and 1/2 cup of reserved brine to deglaze the pan. You want the onions to pick up charred bits before adding the liquids. Pour all the yummy goodness onto the roast in the crockpot and cover. Walk away.

In the time it takes to crock this bad boy, you can prepare some black beans and rice.

Black beans are really simple. Spanish rice is a little more involved. Click here for my version. 
Chipotle Grill's rice is simple- when making your rice, add a smidge of oil, 1 tablespoon of lime juice, and equal parts lime zest. Here's my white rice recipe.

Set it and Forget it: Come back 4 hours later or until it is fork tender (Fork Tender: sounds dirty) and shredding apart with ease.

Discard almost all of the drippings and shred. Add another 2 tablespoons of adobo sauce and mix well.

Feel free to load that puppy up with as many fix'n's as your warm tortilla can hold and dig in. Make this recipe to satisfy your Chipotle Mexican Grill Carrrrrrrnita need... until those pig farmers get their acts together!

DUMPLINGS! Chinese New Year!

Jiǎozi 餃子 Dumplings

Individually steamed, delightful nuggets of yum! Dumplings are an easy, delicious way to celebrate this Chinese New Year... or anytime. My kids helped me with these- that's how simple they are. I told them to think of dumplings like easy, edible, origami.  They were sold and they ate them one after the other. 

1 pkg wonton wrappers (Unless you are fortunate enough to HAVE dumpling wrappers or POT STICKER wrappers, USE THOSE! Good luck finding them in a regular grocery store) 

1-1.5 lbs ground pork

3 tsp salt

3 cloves fresh garlic

2 tsp fresh, ground ginger 

1/4 cup Teriyaki sauce

1/4 cup sliced scallions 

1 small bowl of water

Combine the above raw ingredients together in a large bowl, EXCEPT the water. Take out a wonton wrapper and with your fingertips, coat the edges of the wrapper with water. Scoop out in 1/2 teaspoonfuls and dollop out the ingredients onto the middle of the wrapper. Next, follow the steps below: 

It's perfectly fine to have a few "interesting" looking ones. The kid's aren't the best at making or sealing these, so, you will have to press them closed so they don't bust open in the boiling process. The beautiful thing is that they will taste the same either way. 

Once they are finished, put on a large pot of boiling water.  Drop the dumplings in the water in small batches. Let them boil for 5 minutes, pat them dry and EAT!

 To make the dipping sauce combine:
1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
1/2 tsp grated ginger root
1/4 tsp sesame oil
1 tbsp sugar
1/4 cup seasoned rice wine vinegar
A few sliced scallions


If you wish to make wonton soup, follow the same directions and visit my Easy Wonton Soup Recipe! 

Indian: Butter Chicken

Indian food. You either love it or you hate it. I happen to love it! 

I love, love, loooove Butter Chicken; Creamy, curried and delicious. I paired this dish with Jasmine rice, Naan, my spicy peach chutney and a tangy cucumber relish. Believe it or not, this is a very simple dish to create. You can have it on the table in 30 minutes, flat.

Butter Chicken: 
Serves 2-4
Prep time: 25min

2 chicken breasts, butterflied
1/2 can of coconut milk
1 medium onion, roughly diced
2 tsp tamarind powder
2 tsp sweet curry powder (Penzeys has an EXCELLENT sweet curry powder)
2 tsp salt
1/4 tsp powdered sage
4 garlic cloves or 1 tbsp of that squeezable pureed garlic (which I happen to love)
Olive Oil
3 tbsp butter
3 Fresh Sage leaves
3-4 dried Sanaam chili peppers


Relish: 

1/2 seedless cucumber washed and chopped
1 large Carrot, minced
2 Green onions, chopped
Two pinches of sea salt
1/4 cup Seasoned rice wine vinegar
Two turns of olive oil

Step 1: Prepare your Jasmine rice, FIRST, per my fool proof rice cooking instructions.

Step 2: Prepare the relish by combining all ingredients and let it chill in a covered container until you are ready to serve the meal.

Step 3: Dice your onion and set aside. Slice your chicken breasts in half and place them on a large piece of wax paper or plastic wrap. Add salt, spices (tamarind, curry and sage) and olive oil to the chicken and coat both sides.  Place a second sheet of paper over the seasoned chicken and pound the breasts somewhat. I use my rolling pin. You don't want them too thick or too thin, and the pounding helps the flavor dig in! After that, dice the flattened chicken breasts to bigger than bite sized pieces and coat them in the garlic.

In a large pan or wok, add some Olive Oil and set the burner to high heat. Saute the onions for 3 minutes and reduce the temp to medium-high. Add the butter and the chicken. Let the chicken brown in the butter for 5 minutes before adding the chilies. Let those cook together for another 3 minutes before adding the coconut milk and reducing the heat to medium. Be sure to add some of the liquid and most of the thick, creamy "build up" on the top of the can. You WANT that! Yummy!

TASTE TEST! 

Does it need more salt? More heat? Garlic? 

ALWAYS taste your food before you serve it! 

Alter it to your palette, not mine.   

The last thing you should add should be the fresh sage leaves, if you have them? They really add another level of flavor that the powdered sage cannot. Let that cook for another 3 or so mins and VOILA!


Serve this ladled over a heaping spot of Jasmine rice and a side dollop of the relish and chutney. A chutney gives it a super sweet/spicy element while the relish is a refreshing, crunchy tang.  Don't forget the naan bread, of course!

ENJOY!