Dive into a Beaver Salad: 500 calories

Actual scene from a drive thru, the DAY we moved to Beaver County in 2008.

Me: Hi, I'd like to order two happy meals, one large Quarter Pounder meal and a Southwestern salad.
Drive Thru: What size fries did you want for your salad?
Me: I'm sorry, say that again?
Drive Thru: Fries for your salad. What size?
Me: Oh? Um... I don't want any fries? I ordered a salad.
Drive Thru: ... ...Whatever. Please drive around.

I offended Beaver, I think?

I live in Beaver County. Beaver is a Pittsburgh suburb nestled in the scenic foothills and valleys of the Appalachian mountains. It's known for it's once booming steel industry, top notch diving team, and their famous salads. What makes a Beaver Salad, you ask? No, not beavers. Beaver Countians top their salads with onions, hard boiled eggs, cheese, carrots and... wait for it...

STEAK & FRENCH FRIES! (I know)

Now, I've had some pretty funk-nasty versions of this salad over my 5 years here: Some topped with Steakumm, tater tots, scrambled eggs, pickles, etc. Needless to say the original salad is LOADED with calories. LOADED! My version uses sweet potato fries, balsamic vinaigrette and grilled corn. Sorry, no cheese. I must say that I prefer the sweet potato fries over the regular ones. Adds a whole new level of sweetness!

Beaver Salad :
Serves 3-4  Prep time: 20minutes

Sirloin tip roast (3-5lb)
Sweet potato fries, prepared per pkg directions (Alexia's frozen fries are excellent)
2 hard boiled eggs, diced
1/2  ice burg lettuce
1/2 package of spring salad mix
1 cucumber, sliced
Carrots, chopped
Ear of corn, boiled.
1/2 medium red onion, sliced
1 medium tomato, diced
Reserved steak juice
Balsamic vinaigrette

Get your sweet potatoes going in the oven per package directions... or... you can fry them? Up to you!

Prepare your sirloin with some olive oil (unless you have pre-oiled your grill grates), S&P, garlic powder and whatever your heart desires? I like Penzey's Sunny in Paris seasoning. Delicious rub for red meat! All you really need for a base seasoning is the above SP&G, but, go crazy! Who knows what you'll come up with? Get your grill going at a high temp (to get a good sear and lock in those juices) and grill to your preference. The Kertney clan likes theirs medium-medium rare.  Let the meat REST before slicing it. Steaks need a few minutes to let the juices redistribute for optimal flavor. Remember to reserve the "meat juice" for the vinaigrette.

FYI: Meat thermometers and steaks aren't friends. You poke a hole in your steak, the juices run out and you've ruined it. How to test your steak without gauging it? The trick to test meat for doneness is LITERALLY in the palm of you hand.  Check out this website for the finger method... the method most chefs use to determine doneness. 

 When your steak is just about finished cooking, take your pre-boiled ear of corn, rub some olive oil on it, S&P (Tajin is AWESOME on corn) and throw it onto the grill for 5 minutes. Get a mild char going, remove from the heat and slice the corn from the cob.

You are going to add ALL of the cold ingredients (salad veggies) to some salad bowls. Then add the one handful of sweet potato fries, a few tbsps corn, 5-7strips of sirloin, egg and the vinaigrette:

2 Tbsp Original Mrs. Dash seasoning
1/4 cup balsamic vinegar
1/4 cup regular vinegar
1 packet of sweetener (or substitute 1/4 cup honey)
2 tbsp water
Meat juice
1/4 cup olive oil
S&P to taste

Whisk all of those together and BAM! Your lightened up Beaver Salad is complete. Each salad is under/around 500 calories and loaded with protein. (VS a REAL salad at 800+ calories) Don't quote me on the caloric intake, though. It's higher if you fry the sweet potato fries... but it's worth the cheat! Any dinner this tasty, this nutritious and under 600cal is a W-I-N in anyone's book!

PS: Beaver doesn't have a diving team... But they should.

Brining: It's not Rocket Surgery

From roasts, chops, all the way down to your Thanksgiving bird, brining is the best way to add a tremendous amount of flavor with very little effort. Brine baths are well known methods that chefs use to flavor and tenderize various cuts of meat. Sorry Gordon Ramsay, your mother %#!@ing secret's out, pal.

Don't get antsy. A brine is nothing more than a salty water bath used to preserve food.

NERD ALERT: Within the meat's preservation, the salt triggers the muscle tissue and breaks it down, thus tenderizing the meat and causing it to absorb all of the flavor you have submerged it in. 

The best thing about brining... it's fool proof. If you have salt, water and a large enough vessel to house whatever cut you are brining AND can keep it in the fridge overnight (or somewhere cold so it doesn't get funky) you're golden. If it's a large roast or bird, the key is to start the day before.
Smaller cuts of meat and poultry can be brined for 30min-2hours.

Here's what you'll need:

 drumsticks, lemons, basil, garlic, peppercorns

• 1 Large container- something that your cut of meat will fit in, submerged.
• Salt- I use kosher salt or pickling salt. 
• Various fresh herbs, lemons, garlic, peppercorns, onions... whatever your little heart desires. 
• honey 
• Water
• Ice 
• cold place 

Remember: 1 cup of salt for every gallon of water you use. To determine how much brine you'll need, place the meat to be brined in your chosen container. Add water to cover. Remove the poultry and measure the water.

In a medium stock pot add your salt, whole peppercorns, 1/2 cup honey (optional) and 2 cups of water. Let it dissolve and come to a boil. Add it to your container with your lemons, herbs, garlic, etc. (I don't even peel my garlic. I slice the whole bulb in half and throw it in) Next add a pitcher of ice and the remaining cold water. 

****WAIT UNTIL THE WATER GETS COLD BEFORE YOU SUBMERGE ****

Submerge your meat of choice into the brine bath, cover, and let it sit in the fridge. When you are ready, prepare your cut of meat or poultry however you wish. You won't need any extra salt unless you are making a rub for ribs or a roast. If you want to know how to make Chipotle Grill's delicious carnita's, check my fake out recipe: Fake Out: Chipotle Grill. Guess what? They use a brine. Olè! 

FAKE OUT: Chipotle Grill's Carnitas

"Chipotle Grill sucks," said no self respecting American ever.

Chipotle Mexican Grill is finally serving carnitas again. They took them off of the menu for a while there and I had to recreate them. Duh.

We're going to talk about how to make, arguably, the tastiest thing on Chipotle's menu, and it begins with a BRINE.

Pork brine: Shoulder roast (bone in) w/ garlic & peppercorns 

In a nutshell: Brine it's a salty bath for meat (or veggies). If you've never brined your meat (a'hem) you should consider it? It's just what happens to give these carnitas they're flavor packed spunk!

BRINE RECIPE <-- click

Chipotle Carnitas Recipe:
Prep time (after brining): 20minutes
Crock pot: 4+ hours
Feeds: Small army



1 large pork shoulder roast- something with a bone and fat. (Bone and fat is what makes it yummy. This logic is also true for yours truly. A'hem)
2-3 tbsp Chipotle seasoning or Penzey's Northwoods Fire Seasoning. (Any chipotle spice is fine, but if I'm coming over for dinner, use Northwoods)
1tbsp Cumin
1/2cup Reserved brine
1tbsp Koher Salt & FRESHLY cracked Pepper
2 turns of Olive Oil
1 can of Chipotle peppers in adobo (Only use one of those peppers w/ 2 tbsp Adobo sauce)
1 medium onion, sliced
2 cups beef Stock
Crock Pot

1. Turn your crock onto the highest temperature setting.
2. Remove the roast from the brine and discard all but 1/2 cup of brine. Set aside. Drizzle the roast with Olive Oil and rub your salt, pepper and seasoning onto it. In a large pot or skillet on high heat, sear ALL sides of the roast.

Q&A:  Could you do this on a grill? Yes. 

Can I smoke it for hours and get the same effect? Of course.  

Is it more time consuming to do those things when you have s*** to do? Absolutely. It would be delicious, don't get me wrong, just not very time friendly. 

3. After you have seared the roast, remove it an place in crockpot. Add another drizzle of oil to the pan and add your sliced onions and reduce heat to medium. Sauté onions for 5 minutes and add 1 large chipotle pepper and the 2 tablespoons of sauce. If you like heat, feel free to add another pepper but be forewarned: Those peppers are NO JOKE H-O-T!  Sauté the duo together for another 5 minutes and add 2 cups of stock and 1/2 cup of reserved brine to deglaze the pan. You want the onions to pick up charred bits before adding the liquids. Pour all the yummy goodness onto the roast in the crockpot and cover. Walk away.

In the time it takes to crock this bad boy, you can prepare some black beans and rice.

Black beans are really simple. Spanish rice is a little more involved. Click here for my version. 
Chipotle Grill's rice is simple- when making your rice, add a smidge of oil, 1 tablespoon of lime juice, and equal parts lime zest. Here's my white rice recipe.

Set it and Forget it: Come back 4 hours later or until it is fork tender (Fork Tender: sounds dirty) and shredding apart with ease.

Discard almost all of the drippings and shred. Add another 2 tablespoons of adobo sauce and mix well.

Feel free to load that puppy up with as many fix'n's as your warm tortilla can hold and dig in. Make this recipe to satisfy your Chipotle Mexican Grill Carrrrrrrnita need... until those pig farmers get their acts together!