Part III: Confessions of a Supplement Junkie and a Weight Loss Heroine

I remember salsa dancing in my late teens, early 20's at Latin Palace in Baltimore, Maryland. Everyone in the club (young, old, big, small) was moving the to rhythm and enjoying themselves. I recall one particular evening when this 50-something couple came out onto the dance floor. Everyone clapped and whistled when they approached, including the band. The young, athletic, full-of-myself Kertney couldn't imagine why? The wife was a busty size 14+ and her husband was a leaner, balding man, in short slacks and a button down yellow shirt. Maybe it was an anniversary party? Maybe they were the club's owners? Or maybe it was because they were AWESOME!?  Those two worked that dance floor like it was their job! They looked at each other in such a sexy, flirtatious way that you couldn't help feeling all warm inside. He looked at her like she was the hottest mamacita in the club and she made him work for it! Yes! Latin music just makes you feel sexy, energized and confident. It's what I love about it. Latin music makes you want to move your body... and it's what attracted me to Zumba.

It was the winter of 2008, nearly 10 years and 50lbs later, when I attended my first Zumba class. If you haven't heard about the latest aerobic, latin dance inspired fitness craze then visit THIS website and check it out for yourself. Be prepared to S-W-E-A-T your you-know-what-off and most importantly, have fun!

After I started my Flat Belly Diet and supplement regiment, I was cleared for exercise. Okay, okay... I was ALWAYS cleared for exercise, physically, just not mentally. Once upon a time I was a slim, theatre professional who would jump at the chance for a good workout... not anymore. I needed something that would keep me interested and help me shed this extra weight.

My first Zumba experience was at the YMCA and it was nothing less than hysterical! I didn't know what the hell was going on, what the steps were or why I thought I had any business being there? Just pathetic. I was like many first timers and asserted my BACK ROW positioning. Unfortunately, I am nearsighted and should have placed myself front row to see the instructor- as I was squinting the entire time. I was also:

1) Gasping for breath.

2) Wishing I brought a bigger water bottle.

3) Rethinking those fajitas I ate for dinner.

4) Prying my panties out of my tookis.

5) Insisting that the dance mirrors made me look 10 pounds heavier.

6) Praying that no one else noticed me goofing up during the jumping/shimmy/merengue/kick-thing.

7) Understanding why kegels (and Poise Pads) are so important.

8) Realizing just how heavy my boobs feel in a sports bra and how they resembled a speed hump.

9) Praying that I wouldn't fart during squats and...

10) Sincerely thinking I would die of exhaustion.

Yes, I was a hot mess and I was way, way out of shape. Still, I loved the music and continued to go. After a few weeks, I was comfortable with the moves and pretty impressed with the results. I was doing great with this diet/exercise routine, losing weight, toning up and feeling the healthiest I had been in a long time. February of '09 would prove to be quite the endurance test, however, when I had a run in with an extremely rare and vicious illness that almost cost me my life: Herpes simplex encephalitis.

Many people have there own theories on why I am still around, somewhat unscathed: 

Ironic how this sign is above the water fountain in the 'Zumba' gym

1) I'm tougher than cat piss.

2) My neurologist is top notch.

         3) Thoughts and prayers. 

But my favorite hypothesis is... 

4) ME. I started taking care of myself and prepared my body for a pretty nasty endurance test... an endurance test that I wouldn't wish upon any friend or foe. 

Mark my words: A healthier lifestyle helped to save my life.

The problem was that I wasn't cleared to do Zumba for a while. With all of that movement and my "new brain" being what it was... probably not the best idea... so I stayed away for a while. When I returned to Zumba, I ditched the YMCA and joined Julie DiMatteo's Zumba class. It was way, way, way more fun than the YMCA class. Women were hooting and hollering and greeted each other warmly- a camaraderie! There were men (okay... ONE man... and he knows who he is) and women of all ages and physicality's. No one was afraid to be there and people were smiling, sweating and enjoying themselves. It reminded me of Latin Palace- only less swanky.

The hour blasts by and you don't even realize that you have just burned off anywhere from 600-1000 calories (depending on intensity). Which brings me to another great thing about Zumba: You can work at your own pace. Believe me, I didn't start full out! I took my time and modified the routines. I still modify the routines.

Ironically, Zumba helps Kertney to be friendly. After a day of work, kids, teaching, crafts, cleaning, T-Ball, swimming, bills, grocery shopping, cooking, laundry... I turn into an evil bitch. Zumba helps me to sweat her from my body. I could be in the worst, slouched, PMS-fueled mood before class and I can walk out feeling alert, energized and positive.

Positivity, in my opinion, is the key ingredient to successful body transformation. You have to find what works for you.  The Flat Belly Diet worked for me. Supplements work for me. Zumba works for me. But the thing that helps me the most is a positive attitude. Without it, I could not have accomplished a 50lb weight loss and a new lease on life. This three part blog acts a pat on my back (I think I deserve it) and inspiration to anyone out there who needs a push in the right direction. Put yourself first, think positively, and you'll find that rest just falls into place... and off of the scale.

For more inspiration, visit my other community based blog at The Beaver Countian. There you can read the stories of a handful of the women I Zumba with, who have amazing stories to tell about their own personal success stories... with Zumba's help.

PS: Guess what I did in October of 2012 after I reached my 50lb goal??  ------------>



Check out my ZIN page at http://courtney123.zumba.com/

Grilled Portobello Mushroom Burger w/ Chipotle Mayo & Roasted Kale

Let's be honest. Mushrooms go ON a burger... not in place of. Don't hate! This non-beef take on a patty is pretty darn tough to distinguish for even the most ferocious carnivore. And the best part of all... it's mind blowingly delicious, cheap, simple, and way, waaaaaay healthier!

The family and I are on a no-meat kick. No, not an "eliminate-meat-for-good" thing. It's more like a, "no-meat-with-every-single-dinner-all-the-time" thing. Which is hard. Both my husband and I came from meat-n-potatoes families. After all of the bad press about slime in ground beef , and daily scientific reports proving that too much meat is rotten for your health, Mr. Kertney suggested we try some meat-less dinners... And I agree. I'll bet we aren't the only families out there with this new meatless outlook?

The problem is:

I LOVE A GOOD HAMBURGER!

What am I going to do when I want a burger and I don't have the budget to buy organic, grass fed chuck that is being ground before mine eye? Is there anything that can save me?

Portobello Mushroom Burgers
 *with Chipotle Mayo and Roasted Red Potatoes and Kale

2 Large, bun sized, Portobello Mushroom Caps
Marinade
Buns
Mayo
Cheese
Fix'n's

*1hr before grilling, prepare your mushrooms. Wipe any dirt or blemishes off of them with a paper towel. Set them on a plate "gill" side up and add the marinade. Let that absorb into the mushrooms for 1 hour.

Marinade: Mix together
1/4 Cup Balsamic
1 Crushed garlic clove
1 tsp of Mrs. Dash Original seasoning
1/2 tsp. Salt
2 tbsps. Extra Virgin Olive Oil

1/2 tsp. Montreal Steak Seasoning- sprinkle this onto the mushrooms right before you grill them. 

You can use whatever steak seasoning you like, unless I am coking over for dinner? In which case, please use Montreals. 

Chipotle Mayo:

2 tblsp. Mayonnaise
1/2 tsp. Adobo chile sauce from can- you can get these everywhere. Just look in the "International aisle."


*Mix the two together and done. If you want a little more heat, and add a tiny chunk of the actual chile to the mayo, but, don't get cocky. Those chile's are NO JOKE HOT! Trust me, you'll be fine with just the red adobo sauce. You can also buy prepared chipotle mayo, but, the flavor doesn't come anywhere close to this. Hell, I'll bet you start craving it and putting it on your everyday sammys... like me!  Let it chill in the frige until you are ready to assemble the burger.

Finishing Touches: 

Spray your grill grates with nonstick cooking oil and fire it up-  medium high heat. You want a char!   Let it cook for 5 minutes on each side. (More time may be needed, depending on how thick the mushrooms are) Add a slice of cheese (I used muenster- yum!) at the end of the grilling process. While you're at it, nonstick spray your buns and grill/toast those for 2 minutes. Add a dollop of chipotle mayo on the bottom buns and your Portobello Patty on the top. Add whatever fix'n's you like (I used Kumato tomatos and pickles) and DIG IN!

I guarantee that this will be the juiciest, hearty, most delicious brain fake on the planet- without the slightest worry of ground beef slime.


Enjoy!

Looking for the roasted kale and spuds? Check out my "Sides" page on the top.

Libation #1: Raspberry Coconut Mojito

I don't discriminate. I embrace all kinds of alcohol. I like beer, wine, liquor, fruity, dry, warm, iced, rim, rocks, straight up, shaken and stirred. I have decided to celebrate my love of libation with the world.

Libation #1 is made with one of my favorites, coconut rum.

Raspberry Coconut Mojito

10 mint leaves
2  pkgs Sugar in the Raw or 2-3 tsps regular sugar
1/2 lime, quartered
1 handful of fresh raspberries
2 parts coconut rum
2 parts Chambord Raspberry Liqueur (reserve 1 part)
2 parts Sweet 'n Sour mix
Top with club soda

In a tough girlie glass, mash up your mint, sugar and limes. Add the coconut rum, 1part Chambord and sweet 'n sour mix. Add some ice, raspberries and top with club soda. Give a mix and top with the reserved Chambord. Enjoy on a hot day, summer day or locked in your bathroom when "Mommy needs a minute."

Friendship Bread. Nope, not Amish... but it's still delicious!

Truth: Amish Friendship Bread ain't Amish. WHAAAAAT? That's absurd! Of course it's Amish... Isn't it?

 On second thought, I can't recall the last time I saw a bearded fellow in a straw hat selling plastic baggies of goo at a roadside stand?

Fact: We can thank the 1980's Girl Scouts for it's sweet cinnamon slices of shared plastic happiness. Those cookie pushers may have gotten the idea from the Amish, however?  Just like other breads, a traditional Dutch Amish loaf is nothing more than a sourdough bread, used from a yeast starter- like all sourdoughs. Food historians report that it's nothing more than an old German yeast bread. Some say it was a PA Dutch recipe used only for for sick and needy families. All historians agree, however, that today's version of bread isn't necessarily Amish- as there was no passing it around and there was nothing sweet or cinnaminny about it. It was just... um... bread. And what's fun about that? Nothing! That's where Ziplock and the patch wearing do gooders come into play. Let's be honest, "Girl Scout Friendship Bread" doesn't sound as symbolically nostalgic as "Amish Friendship Bread," now does it? Those scouts knew what they were doing. After all, they've had the market cornered on sweets for decades. I should know. I was a girl scout in the 1980's!

10 day Sourdough Starter:

Let's get squishing! 

• 1 Yeast water (1pkg of active dry yeast and 1/4 cup of warm water)
• 3 cups all-purpose flour, divided
• 3 cups white sugar, divided
• 3 cups milk
• 
  

This isn't rocket surgery. Let the yeast water stand for 10 minutes. Then, combine everything in a LARGE plastic bag and squish it once every day for 5 days. Then "feed it" with 1 cup flour, milk and sugar and squish for another 5 days. On the 10th day, feed it again and reserve 1 cup of the mixture for your first loaves, and give 2 cups to your buds along with the starter recipe and this:

Friendship Bread:  Yields 2 Loaves

• 1 cup Sourdough Starter
• 3 eggs- beaten
• 2/3 cup white sugar
• 2/3 cup vegetable oil
• 3 eggs
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp. nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
• *1 Cup nuts (almonds, walnuts, pistachios or pecans)

Preheat the over to 350º

The old recipe urges you to use NON METAL mixing bowls with a NON METAL utensils to mix all of these ingredients. 

• Why can't I use metal stuff?

Science, dear Watson!

• Allow me to preface this: Today's stainless steel isn't made like the stuff from the 80's, but...  Yeast is made of of billions of living organisms and all living things are filled with bacteria. Introducing a metal like nickel, a prime component of old stainless steel and a known bacterial toxin, is a quick and easy way to kill off a substantial amount of good bacteria. Thus making room for the malicious bacteria to thrive and spoil your starter dough. Yet ANOTHER example of how this recipe ain't Amish- those Amish folks don't care for science much. Then again, they don't care for the "luxuries" of metal KitchenAid mixers' either? I used my Kitchen Aid. I had no issues. 

Prepare your bread pans with spray oil and pour in the mixture, half way.

Bake for 50-60 minutes...

Unless you want a great big loaf (look right) and pour it all into one pan. Just be prepared for a longer baking time. 

If you want the yummy, crumbly topping:

1 Cup flour

2/3 cup cinnamon sugar

1/2 stick softened butter- not too soft

1/2tsp salt

"Fork" the butter (mash it) together with the dry ingredients until it looks like crumbles. Almost like you were making a scratch pie crust. Add the crumbles in the final 30 minutes of baking. Let cool and enjoy! 

This starter and recipe can be a very thoughtful and cost friendly holiday or "end of the school year" teacher's gift- especially when you have to buy for multiple teachers. Ugh! Buy a few small air tight jars (Ikea is a great place to find these on the cheap) fill them, add a ribbon and the recipe and voila! Consider Jr.'s gift covered! 

My 427 Calorie "GO TO" Lunch: Zesty Avocado Turkey Sammy with Feta & Hummus and Baked S&V Chippys

Sounds pretty tasty, right? Bet your bottom it is! If you are like me and happen to think that avocados are the most delicious things on the planet and you are trying to shed some extra poundage, then you're gonna LOVE this! And...

Avocados are considered the perfect food; Filled with over 20 vitamins and minerals, fiber and (most importantly) monounsaturated fatty acids that make you feel fuller, longer! True story.

This recipe requires you to find a few different ingredients, but, they are versatile and wallet-n-waist friendly.

Zesty Avocado and Turkey Sammy:

2 slices of toasted 100% wheat bread
4oz Oven Roasted Turkey Breast
1/2 Avocado
1/2 tsp lemon juice (a lemon wedge will do)
1 tsp Tajin Seasoning
1/4 cup Feta Cheese
1tbsp of Sabra's Roasted Garlic Hummus
1 handful of lettuce

The only preparation you must do is with the avocado, everything else is pre-prepared. SCORE!

Be sure to purchase a ripe avocado... not too green and not too black. Half your avocado and scoop it out of the shell and place it in a plate. Slice it. Add your lemon juice and Tajin. Tajin is a Mexican lime and chile spice. Not spicy but very, very zesty. I love it! My neighbor introduced me to Tajin. You can find it at WalMart. Check out my W.T.F. "Tajin" for another delicious recipe.

Pop your bread out of the toaster and smear on your hummus. I use Sabra Garlic Hummus because it is THE BEST store bought hummus you can find. If you like another brand of hummus or flavor, go for it. Next add your turkey, lettuce feta and prepared avocado slices. And VOILA! Done!

If you miss chips next to your sandwich, fear not! I have found Target's Archer Farms brand of baked salt and vinegar chips. They are delicious and lower in sodium and calories. Actually, ALL of Archer Farms chips are excellent. They even have a Spring Roll Wheat chip (kind of like a Sun Chip) which was outstanding. My husband even liked them- and he's a chip purist! Another awesome brand of figure friendly chips are Terra Chips- made with real veggies. Can't go wrong with the Taro Root crisps. Yummy! I find them at Big Lots, of all places! You can get them at WalMart, but they are more expensive there. I pay 1.75/ 8oz bag at Big Lots vs $3.00 at WallyWorld.

Healthy food doesn't have to taste like it, folks! And according to the last report I just watched about lunchtime being the fattiest meal of the day, this sandwich will prove Dr. Oz WRONG! Don't quote me on the 427 calories. I'm no nutritionist, but, I've done the math. I've also been improvising these low calorie meals for three years and I have lost 50lbs and still eat like a fiend- I just make better decisions.  Enjoy!

Black Sesame Ahi Tuna

Black Sesame Tuna

with Coconut Jasmine Rice and

Dragon Tongue Beans

East meets Carribean in this coastal coconut
inspired catch for two! Today's temp in the Burgh hit 73 and I needed something to rev me up for summer! This did the trick. That and you gotta love it when you can get wild tuna steaks for 4.99lb! WOO HOO! Tuna is one of the few cuts of fish that I can enjoy. It's thick, hearty and not too fishy. FYI: If your fish smells fishy, DO NOT use it. Fresh fish should have no odor! If it has a pleasant smell, feel free to take on this recipe, mon!

Tuna Ingredients:

2  4oz tuna steaks (whatever's on sale)

2 cups Panko (Japanese bread crumbs)

1/2 cup veggie or peanut oil

Egg wash
2 tablespoons of Kertney'sWasabi Seasoning or The Spice & Tea Exchange's Spicy Tuna Rub

Coconut Jasmine Rice:
1 cup jasmine rice

1 tsp olive oil
1/4 cup stock
1 can of coconut milk- w/out the thick creamy part. Save that for...

Coconut soy cream:
Residual thick coconut cream
Plain Greek yogurt (You can use reglar yogurt, but Greek is best-- Unless I am coming over for dinner, in which case, please use Greek)
2 tsps honey
1 tsp sesame oil
1 tsp soy sauce
1 handful of scallions

Prepare the rice! Heat the oil on medium in a med sauce pot. Add the rice. Sautee 'til the rice is translucent and add the stock then coconut milk. Should hear a beautiful sizzle! Let rice come to a rapid boil. Cover and set the burner to low for 20-25minutes.

Prepare the soy cream by adding all ingredients together and refrigerate.

Combine the panko and seasoning. Dip your tuna steaks in the egg wash and coat with the panko. DO NOT cook your tuna until your rice is nearly finished steaming! Heat your oil in a large skillet on med/high heat. Cook your tuna for 2- 3 minutes on each side (depending on thickness of the steak). Pink in the middle! Remove from the skillet and let the tuna rest for a few minutes before slicing. Serve over coconut rice with the soy cream drizzled over it. Sooooo incredibly delicious! The Dragon Tongue Beans recipe is in my WTF section. Feel free, however, to enjoy this with whatever veggie side dish your Samurai-Rasta heart desires.

Don't let Pigeon eat the Cake Pops!

Hi. How's it going? I'm fine, thanks for asking! So... I was asked to be a celebrity reader for my daughter's second grade class. 


The PTA requests that, if chosen, I am to read a few books and fill up a 30min time slot. My daughter said that the good parent readers do "other stuff, too." If I was a really good parent reader, for example, I'll include an activity. And if I was a really, really good parent reader, I'll provide a snack. GOODGOOGAMOOGA!?! I took the bait and decided to be the really, really good parent. (Or the really, really stupid/trying too hard one?)


Choosing the reading material was simple. We love Mo Willems! He's the Emmy award winning children's author of Knuffle Bunny, Leonardo the Terrible Monster,  Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed, Cat the Cat, Elephant and Piggie and our personal favorite, PIGEON! I chose a few Pigeon books and came up with a fun illustration activity. 


Now all I needed was an idea for a snack. Pigeon loves hot dogs, but, um... I'm not bringing in 23 hot dogs. Yikes! And then I saw a picture on flicker... it was a PIGEON CAKE POP! Awesome! Next I watched this tutorial:

and bought the following ingredients. I found everything but the cake mix, frosting (although they do sell Wilton cake products) and wax paper at Michaels Craft Store:  


2 boxes o' cake mix
2 tubs o' whipped frosting (whipped is easier to work with for this project)
2 bags o' blue baking chips (for candy making)
1 bag o' lollipop sticks 
1 box o' candy eyes  


1 pkg of fondant - for the beak
yellow gel based food coloring

wax paper 
STYROFOAM PLANK! (Trust me. You will want this. It will make your life much, much easier)



Beak directions:  Cut a 1" hunk out of the fondant block and place in a microwave safe container. Nuke for 10 seconds. Next, put it in a ziplock baggy and add a 1/4tsp of yellow gel based food coloring. Work the food coloring into the fondant. Remove and roll into a skinny snake. Cut into 3cm pieces and roll again. fold the super tiny snake together and voila! Beaks! Let them sit and harden (only takes a few minutes) before putting onto the freshly dipped pops. 





...and voila! Cake pops! This recipe yields about 30+ pops.  


True, this is a simple process. It is also true that this is a time consuming, pain in the <expletive deleted>. Oh well. I know the kids will love them... and all of that confectionary work will be will be devoured faster than they can say Mo Willems!