Perfect Hard Boiled Eggs.

Don't worry. You might be surprised to learn just how many people have no clue about this. I see countless stupid Facebook and Pinterest posts about "hacks to the perfect hard boiled egg." Adding baking soda, or, a pin prick to let the air out, *face palm*, to name a few. 

Oy gevalt. 


There are no tricks. There is a process, however. The process isn't hard (see what I did there?) but there are a few things you must do to achieve perfect HBE's. 

1) Start with ROOM TEMPERATURE EGGS. Americans are the
only folks I know who refrigerate eggs. Europeans leave their eggs on the counter for weeks. Then again, Europeans are good about using them. If you are like moi (Murrican) and eat HBE's as a snack and/or do a ton of scratch cooking, you'll have no issues with letting your eggs hang out on the counter for a while. In my humble experience, cold eggs are a baking nightmare. HBE's are no different. If you're clicking on this page and it's Easter egg decorating time, let those cartons of eggs sit on the counter over night. Why? Well, you are about to add them to... 

2) Boiling water. Your water needs to reach boiling temperature before you place your eggs. A cold egg in boiling water will crack. Dropping them in the pot will cause them to crack, too, so be sure to carefully place them in the boiling water with a non-slip pair of tongs. Makes life easier, I assure you.

3) The magic number is twelve. It takes twelve minutes to cook your eggs. There. Done. The debate is over. 

4) When the timer goes off, immediately remove them from the heat, drain the hot water, add cold water and two cups of ICE. The culinary word for this maneuver is, "shocking." You are changing temperatures from one extreme to the other and keeping the consistency of the food to the exact moment you stopped cooking it. 

5) Let them sit in the ice bath for an hour and use them right away...  or put them back into the egg carton and refrigerate. The same European Room Temperature Egg Rule does not apply to your HBE's, however. Don't let your cooked eggs sit on the counter for weeks. Gross. Salmonella is bad. 

6) All you need is one good crack to peel a perfectly cooked golden hard boiled egg. Allow me to demonstrate my mad HBE skills with my even more mad iMovie editing skills. 

7) I recommend Cholula. Trust me on this.