Simple Thai Roasted Butternut Bisque

Wanna impress just about anyone who steps foot in your home with minimal effort? Make this bisque. It requires some different-ish ingredients and a blender, but it's a relatively simple thing to prepare and it's outstanding. When they taste this bisque, your guests will worship you like the ancient Mesopotamians and live in spiteful fear of your culinary prowess. This recipe SLAYS most foodies, vegans, cross-fitters and mother-in-laws. 

No, not for real, Hammurabi. You wish!

(My middle schooler is in the throes of 6th grade history and Mesopotamia. Has absolutely nothing to do with Thailand, but, I couldn't resist the Hammurabi reference) 

Serves 4-6 
Prep: 30minutes. 

Costco. $6. Four bags of pre-diced squash.  

• 4 cups of Butternut squash (or one pkg of the picture)- roasted
• 1tbsp Coconut oil or Olive oil 
• 1 cup leeks chopped (lay off the green ends)  
• 1/2 tsp freshly grated ginger
• 3 cloves garlic- whole
• 2 cups Chicken or veggie stock
• 3 tsp Thai curry paste
• 1tsp sweet curry powder
• 1-2tsp Salt to taste  
• 1 cup Coconut milk (Canned or one 200ml package of creme de coco)
• Cilantro- chopped to garnish
• Lime- sliced into wedges 
• Sriracha- because Sriracha. 

Set your oven to 400º and prepare a large cookie sheet with non-stick spray or parchment. Add your chopped butternut squash. Lightly spray some of the cooking oil on the squash and a few pinches of salt. Roast them for 30 minutes. You'll see the edges start to golden and brown. You want that flavor. Roasting really brings out butternut squash's natural sweetness.

While the squash is roasting, prepare your leeks and garlic. There is no need to fancy-up the chopping process. We're going to puree EVERYTHING in the blender later on. No one's ever going to know how anal retentive you are.

Bummer.

In a medium stew pot, sauté your leeks and garlic in the coconut oil on medium- high setting. Don't burn them, just get them soft and happy. Next, add your squash and grated ginger. Add 1 cup of the stock, thai paste, sweet curry, and the freshly grated ginger. Turn down the heat, stir until well combined, and remove from heat.

Add the contents of the pot into your blender and blend well. If it's too thick and isn't blending properly, add more stock.

Once it is well incorporated and resembles a baby-food-like consistency reintroduce it to the pot over medium-low heat.

Add the coconut milk, reserving a few tablespoons for the swirly, knock 'em dead, garnish.

Taste it. Does it need a dab of salt? Hook it up to your taste buds, not mine.

This is a perfect soup to prepare before hand and place in a crock pot for later. Stays tasty until it's ready to eat. Garnishing with a swirl of reserved coconut milk, cilantro and lime is a MUST! It brings the entire bisque together and transforms it from "good" to "Dude, you made this?" I love Sriracha in mine, but, the heat is entirely up to your guests.

Now, if you wanna get all fancy, here's where you add coconut shrimp. The bisque is perfectly to die for without it, but, you can never over impress anyone, right?

Coconut Shrimp

1lb uncooked, deveined, large shrimp- peeled
1 cup Unsweetened coconut flakes 
1 cup Flour (if you are G-Free, use coconut flour)
2tsp garlic powder
1tsp salt
1tsp pepper
Egg wash (if you are vegan, use egg substitute) 
4 cups Peanut oil for frying (or Vegetable oil)


In a bowl, dip the shrimp in the egg wash.

Wait. What is an egg wash?    2 eggs + 4tbsp water (beat well) = egg wash

In a separate bowl, combine the flour, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and coconut flakes

Dip your shrimp in the egg wash and then coat in dry mixture. If you want it SUPER coated, repeat the dipping and coating process.

Heat your oil on high heat in a small pot. Once the oil is hot, add the shrimp a few at a time and fry until golden brown. Let the shrimp rest on a few paper towels, add a pinch of salt,  and serve with the soup.  Add a slice of Naan bread if your heart so desires? My heart always, ALWAYS, desires Naan.

Eat the Cupcake! Fat: 10 (somewhat scientific) Reasons Why.

The hype surrounding today's women and the need to be thin and fabulous all the time, and the sexism that drives this theory, is all around us. I get it. I do. I also think it's used as an excuse.

You heard me.

The thing is: When you eat like crap, you feel like crap. When you don't move your body on a regular basis, you feel like crap. And when you feel like crap, and you are no longer comfortable in your own skin, it's time to do something about it.

Weight loss begins in the brain- not the gut. It's a commitment and it is the easiest thing in the world to do, provided that you are ready to change your entire perception on life and it's priorities. Contradiction in terms much?

*Let's stop calling it weight loss. Let's call it "making weight." Sounds less dramatic.
Today's message about beauty and weight is up to interpretation of course; "Strong is the New Skinny," Thigh Gaps, "Fat and Fabulous," etc. The list goes on and on. Know that you are allowed to want to change your body and you are allowed to want to feel and look better for YOURSELF. If this is your goal, and you are doing this for you, then here are a few things to ponder about the dreaded f-word and the 10 reasons why... before you start making weight. Why should you listen to moi? Well...

10) Prescription Medications
Hell of a thing, right? You take a medication that helps your condition, yet, it's making you uncomfortably large and you hate yourself. Take antidepressants, for example. They help to combat low self esteem, anxiety, and general melancholy, yet, depending on the dose and length of time you have been on them, they are EXCELLENT at making you gain weight. And the fact that you clicked on this here Pinterest pin makes me assume that you aren't too happy about it. Oh, the irony.  Here is a link to a list of medications that are associated with weight gain.  This doesn't mean that you should stop taking your medications in pursuit of your goal outfit. And it sure as hell doesn't mean that you should shrug your shoulders and not eat healthy and break a sweat. It just means that you are going to have more homework to do. Meet with your health care provider and discuss your medications, your weight goals, and any alternatives or different dosages that may be available? Also discuss what types of supplements/vitamins that you are taking and that you should be taking? Here's a link to a few supplements that I recommend (actually MY doctor recommended them to me) to start your journey: Supplement Junkie

9) Deoxyribonucleic Acid, otherwise known as DNA

Look at your mum. Look at your dad. Aunt. Uncle. We all have a predetermined database that has designed how and where you are going to store fat and muscle. Genes create your body structure and they will predetermine size, shape and how one ages.  Duh. Embrace the things that make you different and accentuate the things that you love and that your body is good at. You are your only competition in this race, so stop comparing yourself to the 5'10, 23 year old. She has different parents. There isn't anything we can do about our bodies structure, but,  DNA does not predetermine what you are putting in your mouth and how often you are moving. Nice try.

8) Whore-moans 
Filthy little buggers, hormones. Unfortunately, they play a principal role in whether or not you can fit into your pants. Combine these little jokesters with a medication and, long story short, if you aren't doing something about it now, well...

Let's jump right on into Menopause for moment, shall we?

Menopause is an evil cow that wants you to be fat. She does. She told me so. During menopause, a woman's body slowly produces less of the hormones estrogen and progesterone. Estrogen helps to burn calories and increases your body's metabolic rate- how fast your body burns energy at rest- so, when you have less of that hormone, you are at a greater risk for weight gain. Akin to PMS, your estrogen levels are up and down, thus all of those crazy cravings and lack of energy. Difference is, PMS is more water retention than anything else. And once your estrogen levels even out after the cycle is over, you return to your normal, rage-free, fine self. Menopause? Not so much. And I hate to brake it to you, but, a woman's chances of gaining more weight after menopause are pretty freaking high unless we start doing something about it now. If you aren't in a good cardiovascular/ strength training routine... get ready. Muscle fights fat today and for the long term. 

7) "I don't wanna look all bulky." 

This one's my favorite. Most of the women who say this would sell their first born child for the chance to look like the model in the inspirational meme they just posted on Facebook.  Get over yourself and get into the weight room. A solid cardio and strength training regime is what you need to combat the fat for the long term. When you can't make it to class, you should do something- a brisk walk, bike ride, squats, pushups.. something. But, lifting something heavier than your purse on a regular basis is key to a strong body.  Muscle mass helps burn EXTRA calories, even when you aren't doing a damn thing. Our bodies burn more calories maintaining muscle than they do maintaining fat. Most importantly, building muscle mass now increases bone density and keeps you strong for say, when at 70, you trip over your Yorkie-Poo on your way from the mailbox. Only you won't be the old fart that breaks your hip. Catch my drift?

But won't lifting weights make me GAIN weight? Yes. But it's helping you lose the fluff. 

Get this: I am 160 lbs. My BMI says I'm "overweight" and that's easily the most absurd bullshit on earth. Let's put it this way: I was was 150 lbs and in the "normal" range this summer and my size 8's still didn't fit. I started lifting, lost some fat, gained muscle, and now my Lucky Brand size 8 skinny jeans fit like a glove. Make sense? Muscle is denser than fat, but it takes up less space. BMI doesn't account for muscularity. BMI also doesn't calculate that my blood sugar and cholesterol levels are stellar, my back problems are all but gone, and my migraines are far, far less frequent. So believe me when I say that BMI calculations and the number on the scale means nothing as far as calculating one's health. Muscle burns calories 24/7. Fat does not. Of course, you can lift/exercise all day and not see a change if you aren't making the right nutritional choices.

6)"It's only 100 calories."  

Put down your fat free yogurt and your *skinny* latte, it's not doing you any favors. Like many gullible citizens, I bought things that said, "low calorie," "low fat" and "sugar free." Hell, I was the whole wheat champion. I thought that I was eating healthy? I mean, I'm buying everything that said it was healthy for me, so, what's the deal? I'm not seeing any results!

My beloved friend, Muy Thai champ, restaurant owner, and personal trainer put it to me this way:

You don't go to the produce department and see broccoli advertised as, "FAT FREE" or "LOW IN SUGAR," do you? 

Point taken. There are different types of calories and they all play different roles in the human body. There are nutrient-rich calories and nutrient-dense calories. Nutrient-dense calories are the ones found in pre packaged fat/sugar/calorie free foods and they are ones starving the body,  keeping you hungry, and keeping your fat right where it is. I won't go on about nutrient rich calories. You should know about what those are. Bacon is one of them. Oh, and the whole egg, not just the whites.


5) STRESS!!

Stress is a deal breaker- especially for visceral fat. Belly fat.  Every endocrinologist will agree that humans crave carbohydrates during stressful situations. The body goes into a type of fight-or-flight response where it immediately looks for stored fuel, expels it, and demands more, thus, over eating and weight gain. How? Those damn hormones again.

Cortisol is a hormone that works with insulin to let our bodies know when we are HANGRY and when to store the fuel for energy. As it happens, belly fat is an active tissue that has more cortisol reacting receptors than anywhere else on the human body. When we stress out, all of those receptors react in the midsection, as if it were starving to death, sending your adrenal system into full throttle making room for more unnecessary fat storage. This is where I tell you to have healthy snacks on hand and stay hydrated, but, in my experience, dieting is the most stressful thing on the earth. Want to know how to beat the stress?

4) Eat the #$%* cupcake 

You heard me. Just eat it.

Take this scenario for example:

You are doing everything "right." You are exercising. You are strength training. You are eating healthy. You are working hard... And you are stressing out over it because all you want is one of the cupcakes Mary Jo brought in from home... but you can't because you are on a flat belly mission... but you really, really need one... but you can't because you are so close to meeting your calorie limit on Fitness Pal...

As we have just discussed, stress is a deal breaker in the weight department. There will come a time in your nutritional journey when you just aren't hungry and you just don't need the cupcake. And then there will be days when the world may explode if you don't "treat yo'self." Do yourself a favor and eat the cupcake. Eat it hard. It's not going to break the bank. Start over tomorrow. No big deal. Seriously.


3) Anything with "fix" or "results" the title? Don't buy it.  

Shakeology, Weight Watchers, Isolean, you name it. That high priced, powdered, pre flavored blend of liquid "nutrition" isn't doing you any favors either. Get-thin-quick products are created by teams of money hungry bastards that are banking on America's lazy attitude towards nutrition and weight loss. Guess what?  You are the only tool you need to lose weight. You and you alone. Go find a grocery store with a meat department and a produce aisle. Buy some of that. Learn how to use the ingredients. Enjoy preparing them. Now go and sweat. Sweat a lot. Invest in yourself for the long haul. Mark my words: You will not be "21 day fixing" for the rest of your life. Buy fresh, quality food and exercise. Invest in yourself. YOU are your name

2. Sweat, and then sweat some more, and then DRINK YOUR WATER! 
The human body will mistake dehydration for hunger 99% of the time. That's right. Those food cravings are probably thirst-related. Hello? Our bodies are made of 60% water. We need it. Bad. And if you are working out somewhat regularly, you really, really need it. Now, I'm not insisting that you clean out a milk jug and filler up, but, there's a reason why these body builder types are drinking all this H20 and I guarantee that YOU aren't drinking your fare share. Shoot for about 1.5- 2 liters of the clear stuff per day. If you aren't ready for just straight water, make my Power Water. You will eat less when you drink more water. If you are lifting or doing some HARD cardio, mix your water with an amino acid powder or some 100% grapefruit juice.  I recommend taking some supplements to help retain this extra moisture and help rid the body of toxins. Here's the link to my info about that:Gym Supplements.


1) Compensating food for exercise. 

How many of you have said, "I can have this Pop Tart because I worked out today." Or... "Another glass of wine won't hurt, I did a Les Mills class."

Sorry, sweet thang,  it don't work that way.

In order to lose fat you have to create a calorie deficit. You must burn more than you take in. I know, I know...  I just told you to "Eat the #$%* Cupcake," but that's a once in a while thing. We all have to pick our battles. Even Serena Williams can't out-exercise a poor diet. It doesn't matter how much time you spend at the gym or at Zumba... you cannot eat processed food and expect results. And trust me, Serena isn't eating any bullshit before and during competitions, but, she picks her battles. Hell, even Ronda Rousey will tell you that her food is more for fuel than taste. *She also attributes a few rolls in the hay (not the mat) to her energy levels. I have some great food ideas if you are interested in that weight loss avenue? *

But Kertney, I'm not making weight to win a UFC belt!  I just want to comfortably fasten my own!

After I lift or take a cardio class, I refuel my body with a protein shake. Drinking a shake or eating a nutrient-rich meal will help repair muscle tears, give you back the energy that you lost, and help cut by rehydrating the body. Not refueling directly after a workout is another one of the biggest mistakes people make, in my opinion. I made it for quite sometime. You only have a good 30-45 minute window to consume this snack without harming your calorie deficit. Why? Because your body is still in calorie burn over drive due to that all that crazy cortisol. Here's a link with a recipe for one of my go-to protein smoothies as well as a few supplements that will help you burn fat.  If you need a meal, make it yourself.

Use a few recipes from this here bloggity-blog, for starters.

• 400 Calorie Panera Bread Fake-out
• 400 Cal Chicken Teriyaki ginger Lettuce Wraps
• Polynesian Paleo Balls
• 450 Calorie Korean Quinoa
• Greek Chicken Souvlaki Gyros

Meal prepping is a brilliant tool for keeping you full and focused on your goals throughout the work week. Make a bunch of fresh things on Sunday. Split them up into containers for a week's worth of lunches. Dinner's all up to you. Crock pot/ set it and forget it meals are an excellent tool, too. 

Cheers to beers... and puppies! 

In this new year, I'm going to bring some recipes to the table as well as some exercises that help build strength and endurance. These will be things that I use in the gym and the things I do at home; things that have helped me lose fat, build muscle, revamp metabolism, heal back problems, lose migraines, and, more importantly, make me feel confident in my own skin.  I have a few fitness related goals of my own- biceps for one. I'd love to lose some belly fat and get leaner, but we'll see about that? I'm not about to starve myself. I'm also going to bring some more vegetarian meals to the table and the blog. I am a self professed carnivore, but, I notice a significant improvement in my bowels (yay, poop!) with less of it. I still have things I want to improve on for me. Just to see how far I can go... without getting too obnoxious about it.