G-Free: Crack Brownies

"Gluten free shouldn't taste this good." -My big, picky, construction worker husband

Why the gluten free-ness, you ask? Well, I'm noticing a difference in my migraine tolerance (less frequent/less powerful head issues) and my kangaroo pouch. My gut is getting smaller. I'm not phasing out wheat completely, though. I don't have celiac's, after all, and I'm no Epi pen candidate, but, I'm scaling way, waaaay back on the processed wheat/sugar crap. I was looking on the interwebs to find SOMETHING that everyone in the Kertney household could enjoy. I found a rather involved recipe, made it, and noticed that it was missing a few things in the, "taste good" department. I simplified it, kept it relatively healthy, and I'll be damned if I don't crave them. Besides, if my husband likes them (and he's a brownie purist), then I know it's a winner. My kids, on the other hand, aren't big fans, but, I'm fine with that. More for me! 


G-Free Crack Brownies
Yields 12-18 squares (depending on your slices)

Prepare a square brownie pan with parchment paper or saran wrap. Line the whole thing with it. 

For the bottom brownie part, in a food processor, add:

1/2 cup whole pecans 
1 tsp salt
1 cup chopped dates, preferably unsweetened
1 tsp vanilla extract
4 heaping tbsp coco or cacao powder  
2/3 cup almond meal 
1 tbsp coconut oil, melted


Blend the pecans first, then the dates. Add the remaining ingredients and blend together until it makes a nice, Playdoh-like, consistency. Add to your lined brownie pan. Press your dark brownie dough, evenly, around the pan.  Step two... 

For the cookie dough , in a mixing bowl or KitchenAid, add: 

1 cup Almond Meal
1 cup Coconut powder 
1/3 cup raw coconut flakes
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp honey
3 tbsp coconut milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/4 cup melted coconut oil 
Dark Chocolate chips (you choose how much. I'd say 1/2 cup +) 

Blend all of these ingredients together and add it to the brownie pan, on top of your brownie concoction. When it is evenly distributed, cover the pan and refrigerate it for a few hours. Slice them into squares, and nom, nom, nom... 

If you like chocolate and coconut, this is the brownie for you, my friend. A brownie that you don't have to feel bad about eating... EVER!  

PS: I'd keep them refrigerated. They taste better that way.

Sirloin Porter Stew

Confession time. I had all of the ingredients for Guinness stew... 

But no Guinness. 

Son of a *****!!!  

Time to improvise! Lucky for me, my husband makes beer. He just so happened to have made a London style porter. Porters are a dark beer, right?  Sure, they're slightly more intense, with more malt than a stout... 

My mom, rest her soul, always said, "Beggars can't be choosers." 

Porter it is.

 I'm not saying that you can't make this recipe with Guinness. Go for it! I'm sure that it would taste just dandy! (Let me know how it goes down) But, I'm glad that I didn't have any Guinness... 

This time.  

Irish Porter Stew 
Serves 12 (Yes, this will feed an army)
Prep time: 20 min
Cook time: 4 hours

2 packages o'pre-cut chuck sirloin "stew meat"
3 thick pieces o'bacon- chopped
1 large onion- quartered
3 large carrots, peeled and chopped into BSP's (Bite. Sized. Pieces)
1 pkg white mushrooms, halved
6 turnips-  BSP's
5-8 Brussel sprouts- halved
5-6 peeled potatoes- BSP's
1 large celery stalk-  large chunks

1 can diced tomatoes
1 small can tomato paste
2 boxes of beef stock
1 can/bottle of London style porter or Guinness

2 sprigs of fresh thyme- chopped
2 Bay leaves
4 large garlic cloves- pressed
1/4 cup salt
Lots O'Freshly ground pepper
1 cup flour
2 tbsp cornstarch


In a big ol' ziplock bag, add your stew meat, salt, pepper, garlic and flour. Smush it up and let it sit. Prepare a cookie sheet with some tin foil and spray oil. Set your broiler to "high."

Grab yourself the biggest stew pot or dutch oven, with a lid, that you have. On medium heat, add your bacon slices and fry 'em up with your onions. After the bacon is nicely browned, remove them from the pan and set aside. Keep the grease in there, though...

Add the stew meat to the cookie sheet and broil for a good 10+ minutes. You know they're done when your sirloin bits are nicely browned and you have a good bit of "meat juice"on the bottom of the cookie pan. While the bits are roasting, however...

Add your fresh vegetables, thyme, and bay leaves, to the dutch oven. Let those roll around in the drippings for 5 minutes until they slightly browned-- You'll notice a brownish "char" on the carrots and Brussels sprouts. Next, add 1box of stock to deglaze the pot.  Once all of the drippings have released, add the can of of tomatoes and the beer.  Add the stew meat and all of it's drippings once they are finished broiling. Next, add the can of tomato paste and stir it around until the paste is well incorporated.

Let that simmer, (low-medium heat), covered, for 2- 2.5 hours. Stir it occasionally.

"This stuff is world class." -Mr. Mike

** IF THE STARCH FROM THE TATERS DIDN'T THICKEN IT UP THE WAY YOU'D HOPED... In the final 30 minutes of cooking, in a separate container, add the cornstarch and 1/2 of the other box of stock. Mix the two together and add to your stew. Turn to high heat, stir, and let it thicken. Once it's thickened (maybe takes 3 minutes) drop the heat down to low and let it rest for the final 20minutes.

TASTE IT! Does it need more salt? Pepper? Add them, to taste, and serve it up with a big hunk o' soda bread. (sour cream is optional) Be sure to set Pandora to the Celtic channel for an overall experience.  Oh, and don't forget to pour yourself a Guinness... or a porter? A'hem.


PS: I served this stew at my St. Patrick's Day Féasta just the other day. The stew was a big hit.  The sirloin was like butter. Delish! If you are looking for more beer themed, Irish fare, check out my recipe for Beer Battered fish. Best damn cod planks you'll ever, EVER, eat! Don't even get me started on the slaw. Another good one is, taters au' gratin. Believe it or not, the traditional Celtic grub for St. Paddy's day isn't corned beef and cabbage;  It's ham and potatoes (and cabbage). This Au Gratin recipe will NOT disappoint. I have an un-Shephards pie that's pretty tasty, too.

Be sure to choose a nice, traditional, tasty, Irish meal for St. Paddy's day, or you'll have to repeat after me:  Be sure to say the following in your BEST Irish accent. Say it quickly.

Wale.  Oil.  Beef.  Hooked. 

Slainte!

 PS: I MADE THIS WITH GUINNESS JUST YESTERDAY.  T'WAS EXCELLENT!