Cook'n with Cornflakes, ya'll! Baked Chicken-n-Beans

It's time to get some aloe for this here red neck! I don't know about you, but, I love cooking with Cornflakes. It's amazing how versatile they are! One minute they're in my cereal bowl and the next they're dinner's main ingredient. Most importantly, cornflakes are wallet-friendly, as is this next REDONKULOUSLY easy and delicious baked chicken or turkey cutlet dish!

Start wit'cher beans. They take a little longer to bake, unless your neck is redder than mine, and you're fitting to heat up a can of Campbells pork and beans. In which case, my trucker hat is off to you and allow me to get you a can of Natural Light.

Baked Beans.
Oven 375
Bake time: 60min
Serves: 4-6

2tsp olive oil
1tbsp butter
1/2 onion- chopped
1/4 cup brown sugar
3 tbsp cider vinegar
2 splashes of worchestire sauce
2 cloves garlic, pressed
1/4 cup molases
1/4 cup Heinz ketchup
1/4 French's mustard
4 strips bacon bacon
2 mexican chiles (optional)
1 15oz can pinto beans, drained
1 15oz can can kidney beans, drained
1 15oz can butter beans, drained
1 tsp smoke flavoring
S&P for taste

On med-high heat in a deep sauce pot or dutch oven, add olive oil, butter and onions. Once the onions are translucent, add your salt and brown sugar. Next, add cider vinegar and worchestire. Next add the mustard, ketchup, molases, garlic, smoke flavoring and chiles. Let that simmer for a few minutes and then add the beans. Let that simmer for another few minutes. Give the beans a taste. Add S&P if desired? Cracked pepper, especially! In a deep, prepared baking dish, add your beans mixture. Next, lay your strips of bacon on top of the beans, cover, and pop in the oven. If you used a dutch oven, just lay the bacon strips on top and pop in oven. 30minutes covered, 30 uncovered.

 Crispy Baked Chicken-n-Beans

2-4 Chicken Breasts, butterflied
2 cups cornflakes
2/4 cup grated parmesan cheese
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. Arizona Dreaming Seasoning or another chile-like spice (any of your favorite spice(s) will work, really. Unless I am coming over for dinner, in which case, please use Penzey's Arizona Dreaming)
2/4 tsp salt

1 lrg plastic baggy
1 egg, beaten with 1tsp water
1 tbs butter


Preheat oven to 375. In a large baggy, combine all of the dry ingredients. With a rolling pin, crunch up the cornflakes and other ingredients until they are ground and well incorporated. (Excellent thing for the kids to do) Next, dip the chicken into the egg wash and add them to the bag of dry ingredients. Shake, shake, shake!  If you are like me and like extra coating, re-dip the coated chicken into the egg wash and re-coat in the dry ingredients bag. Heat an oven-safe skillet on medium-high heat with the butter. If you don't have and oven safe pan or skillet, prepare a separate dish for the chicken to bake in. Brown your chicken pieces on each side (1minute each side) and then place in the oven for 30minutes.

If you feel the need for green, do what I did and add a salad. Collards would be OUTSTANDING with this dish, too!  I love me some collard greens.

Enjoy, y'all!

Sex and Food: Go Get Some! (Rated PG)

Indulge your inner romantic without the

candles and lingerie... Do it with FOOD!

I hosted a Passion Party... yes, one of those parties, over the holiday season. It was a super fun, girlish get-together complete with  giggling, cosmos and TMI! I served up a few tasty love enhancers that made the evening even more educational. I knew that my sexy food knowledge was too good not to share at the party, not to mention the day devoted to love. Be my guest, however, and break out these lusty appetite quenchers whenever you need to naturally ignite you and your partner's libido. And even if they don't work for you, no biggie! They are all healthy choices that will benefit your body in more ways than one.

Kertney's Top 10 Flirty Foods:

10. Avocados: These ancient "alligator pears" were a favorite fertility fruit among Aztecs. Despite their voluptuous shape, the Aztecs believed that avocados, because they grow in pairs, resemble testicles. So much so that they named the avocado tree,  Ahuacatl- "testicle tree." They weren't big on innuendo, those Aztecs. The dangling idea continued with the Spaniards who loaded up on this naughty fruit. They were considered so naughty, in fact, the consumption of avocados was dubbed "sinful" and Catholic Priests banned their consumption. Why so sexy? In today's age, we have learned that avocados are anti-inflammatory, cancer fighting gems, packed with fiber, Omega 3 fatty acids, Vitamins K, B6 and C. Sexually speaking, however, they do a great job promoting  blood flow and blood sugar regulation- key factors that help get ones sexual organs ripe and ready to go. So, perhaps our ancestors were onto something? Guacamole, anyone?

9. Garlic: Grab your Altoids, gents, because garlic is a sure fire way to get your blood flowing in your mouth... and your boy-bits. Ancient Greeks believed that garlic's flavor "inflamed the passions" while unfaithful Egyptian husbands worshipped garlic's scent and chewed on a few cloves after visiting their mistresses. "The hummus in Giza is really garlicky, honey. I swear!"  The Hebrew Bible encourages eating your garlic on Friday nights to help get your Sabbath-freak-on and Roman brides carried bouquets of garlic in lieu of flowers to help in the bedroom. Why? Garlic, like avocados, promotes blood flow... and garlic specifically targets the male genitalia. Today's studies have confirmed that this pungent bulb is not only vitamin rich with cholesterol lowering abilities,  but it helps some men's sexual performance, especially those with erectile dysfunction. Unfortunately, studies have not been tested on male vampires or those two-timing Egyptian men. I hear Lorena Bobbit has Egyptian ancestors... and hates garlic.

8. Bananas: Gwen Stefani ain't the only one hollering about this phallus-like fruit. In Islam, banana leaves were responsible for covering Adam and Eve's nudity- not our Western fig leaves. (Banana leaves are huge, too. Islamic Adam must have been well endowed? YOWZAH!) In India, these slender yellow fruits of love are still an offering to fertility Gods. The sap from it's Central American red brother is sipped as a love potion/hormone inducer. Banana's are rich in B vitamins and potassium, both key ingredients for sexual hormone production. Potassium-rich banana's are also a way to rid yourself (or your partner) of those pesky, bedtime headaches. It's win/win!

7. Asparagus: Say "merci"  for this erect veggie's orgasmic French name-sake. "Asperge" is actually French slang for penis. In fact, 19th Century French grooms were served THREE courses of this sexy shoot to prepare for a hopeful heir-raising evening. Asparagus is loaded with folic acid and folate- promoters of sex drive and fertility. Folate is also a histamine producer. Sure, histamine is responsible for many allergic reactions, but, is a key factor in producing orgasms. Studies have found that  men and women who have a hard time reaching the big 'O' have low blood plasma levels of histamine. Those who were treated with histamine supplements, found a significant improvement in the quality and quantity of their orgasms. Asparagus is the orgasm Holy Grail!

6. Seaweed-  Sushi is sexy... and now I know why. It's no coincidence that the Japanese are so wonderfully lascivious. Known in the U.S.A. for sushi and it's multi-billion dollar sex industry, among other things, the main diet of the Japanese consists of all things "sea" related... and they aren't the only ones.  The (not so) Virgin Islands shakes up a popular aphrodisiac libation, "Seamoss," mixed with rum, seaweed, milk and other spices. In Belize, if you order anything seaweed related, it is rumored that you'll get a wink and a high-five! Seaweed is rich in iodine, a well known blood pumping mineral. If you are trying to put a bun in the oven, insist that your man eat LOTS of this mineral. Seaweed is packed with vitamin E, which helps to naturally increase seamen production AND volume. No babies for you?  Wrap it up and eat it anyway. Seaweed is also loaded with the detoxifying mineral, manganese, a natural free element known to maintain a healthy sex drive. It's also packed with B2, a natural hormone producer. If you live in the Pittsburgh area and think sushi is sexy like I do, try the restaurant YAMA, and let me see your sushi roll! 

5. Honey-  Forget about the birds, lets talk about the bees! After all, if it weren't for those pollinating little instigators, we wouldn't have Aphrodite's favorite syrup. Like wine, honey has many colors, styles and flavors.  The Story of V insights The Kama Sutra which recommends the clover-variety of honey, enhanced with nutmeg, to heighten orgasm. It also insists on dabbing a little honey on the womanly bits so she doesn't taste like she's had too much seaweed, for example. Honey is an easily metabolized, natural JOLT of B vitamins and sugar. It's like having a Red Bull, but without the side effect. Studies also suggest that honey is a great source of boron, a trace chemical known for estrogen and testosterone production. So, skip the whipped cream, and bring some honey to the bedroom. Your stinger will thank you for it.

4. Basil: Bust out you best Italian accent, bambinos, and seduce her with some basil. Nicholas Culpeper, 16th century English botanist, touted this herb as the most powerful aphrodisiac for women.  With it's high levels of nutrients, anti-aging and anti-inflammatory properties coupled with it's robust, therapeutic smell, basil is reported to make a woman's senses erupt with sensuality... or a hankerin' for bruschetta? Either way, it's good. On the flip side, basil has a strong olfactory impact on men. The way to a man's heart is through his nose, folks! The same reaction which makes blood vessels engorge in the penis are also found in a man's nose. This lesser known olfactory fact was common knowledge years ago. Before a date, women would dust their chest with powdered basil or licorice root. Give it a shot, next time. If he repeatedly itches his nose, chances are he's ready to rock your world... or he's allergic basil? There's only one way to find out! 

3. Dark Chocolate: Aztecs liked grocery shopping in the naughty department, now didn't they? In preparation for romps in the rain forest, Emperor Monteczuma engorged himself with 50 golden chalices of "drinking chocolate" each day! The Cacao tree (Cacao, interestingly enough, is also the Mayan word for 'God Food') was worshipped, in fact, for it's sexual fueling abilities. Years later, Spanish conquistadors brought chocolate to Europe and somehow, I'm guessing through their delivery methods, chocolate became associated with sex. Conquistadors must have come up with the fancy red boxes? With it's muy sensual reputation, it makes sense that men give women chocolate on Valentines Day. Don't get too goose bumpy, though! Cortes and his crew also brought smallpox- which is what essentially wiped out the Aztecs-  and chocolate does jack squat for famine. Monteczuma may have been on to something in the bedroom, however, because chocolate has the same effect on our bodies as marijuana: anandamine. True, you won't crave Doritos and Dr. Thunder after eating a Hershey's bar (name dropper) but chocolate has minuscule levels of that neurotransmitter along with other neurotransmitters like serotonin and phenylethylamin. All key components known for their mood enhancing abilities/sugar rush that create euphoric feelings, often associated with love and sex. Unfortunately, however, there are no scientific studies to prove that chocolate is, in fact, a sex promoting candy. But feel free to chow 50 bars of chocolate per day and see where it lands you... other than the dentists chair. 

2. Red Wine: An Italian study concluded that women who drank 1- 2 glasses of red wine per day were more apt to have sex. Well, duh! Alcohol makes everything look and feel pretty, now doesn't it? Marie Antoinette claimed that the darker the wine, the more it resembles the musky scent of a man. Port wine is said to be the most aphrodesiatic of them all. Why? Well... alcohol helps boost ladies' testosterone levels and rids our minds of all of our insecurities (Do these socks make my ankles look big?) and our "to do" lists during love making. (Did I remember to take the clothes out of the washer?) According to Science Daily, red grape skins have resveratrol, a natural form of estrogen. Red wine promotes testosterone AND estrogen! Double whammy! So ladies and gentlemen, when it comes to sex remember this:  "The redder the bed-her." 




...And the number one Flirty Food on Kertney's list is <drum roll, please>
   

1. Licorice: The worlds GREATEST aphrodisiac! Ladies and gentlemen I give you the natural equivalent to Viagra for both men and women.  According to the University of Maryland Medical Research Center, licorice helps balance estrogen, regulate menstruation and increase the female libido. It also helps regulate the male endocrine system by refueling and leveling testosterone. The root from licorice is also a widely used herbal treatment for sore throats, respiratory infections and chronic fatigue, to name a few. The book, Scentsational Sex, written by the neurological director of Chicago's Smell, Taste, Treatment and Research Foundation, gives us a comprehensive guide based on results from testing with different scents. Licorice was the mack-daddy of them all. For example; A woman's libido was stronger when mixing the smell of licorice with cucumber. For men, the smell of licorice combined with DOUGHNUTS (of all things) increased the blood flow to the penis by 32% vs. that of licorice alone. Let's hope Marge Simpson keeps licorice in her pantry- she could be one happy woman! I wonder what the smell of licorice and beer could do for a guy?



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