WTF is THAT?!?!

Welcome to my new weekly bit, "What the Food?"

I'm going to scour Pittsburgh for new & exotic (or as "exotic" as you can get in the Steel City) foods and prepare them. Chances are better-than-average that the item I select will be new to the both of us. My hope is to bring a few more different and interesting things to the Kertney family table whilst I am stuck in the land of Primantis and Iron Shitty-- not that I'm complaining about those.

Today's WTF food hails from the Netherlands and has many fire-breathing lizards in an inaudible uproar. I give you... (drum roll please) 

DRAGONS TONGUE BEANS

Okay, okay... the sign says "product of Guatemala" but I swear that the beans are Dutch.  I found these particular beans at the hoity-toity Market District, Giant Eagle. And yes... they are expensive little waxy buggers, but, it's a weekly gig and I am not too worried about the 1/4lb "splurge." 

From everything I have read, Dragon's Tongue Beans have a delicate, buttery taste and the pretty purple stripes fade during the cooking process. Sad face... but neat. I will prepare the beans for dinner, tomorrow and give you a thumbs up or down. They look pretty cool... and my kids seemed interested in sampling one, given that I told them they are ACTUAL dragon's tongues... and have the magical ability to make one breath fire.  

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PREPARATION DAY:

Well, dragon tongue beans taste EXACTLY like your average, every-day green bean, with two minor differences:

1) They are larger.
2) They are heartier.

I prepared these dragon tongue beans with some green beans I had hanging around the veggie drawer. I snipped the ends,  boiled the beans w/ sea salt until beautifully green. And yes, the fun, purple streaks did, indeed, disappear once cooked. Womp! I "shocked" them in a ice bath and then sauteed them in butter, garlic, diced shallots and cracked pepper. I served da' beans with Sesame Panko Tuna and Coconut Jasmine Rice. Awesome, awesome stuff if I do say so myself... and I do.

Thumbs up or Down?

Thumbs up but with reservations. I would reccomend buying these beans only if you are trying to impress a crowd with it's fun, fire breathing namesake... if not... go green. (Case and point: 5.99/lb vs. .99/lb) But grab a handful next time, for shits and giggles!    

Why I loves me some ALDI... and why YOU should, too!

Do you consider yourself a "supermarket snob?" Do you need the extensive lighting? GRAND displays? A sushi counter? The playcenter for your kids? OF COURSE YOU DO!!! But on those paydays when the money is tight- and let's be honest here, those days are more and more frequent... ALDI is the place to get your groceries! Sure, it used to have the bad rep. of  being a sketchy, low-quality goods store. Not anymore! Here are a few reasons why you need to get over yourself, like I did, and give ALDI a try.

1. Americans paying Americans. True, ALDI is a German based store. But, the proof is in the schnitzle. Check the back of all of your ALDI packaging. Nearly everything is made, packaged, grown and raised in the U.S.A.

2. Earth friendly. Bring your fabric shopping bags, folks. No free bags here! ( Don't worry, they sell the reusable ones) No bags means less waste, a cleaner environment and cheaper prices.

3. Significant savings! No, seriously... I did my shopping at Walmart and Giant Eagle before getting over myself and started shopping at ALDI . I have cut my grocery bills by 65%. Granted, there are some brand-name things I will pick up at Target, Giant or Walmart (cleaning and hygiene products, mostly) but ALDI is my first stop before I step foot in any of the big name retailers. The fuel perks gimmick seems woefully insignificant by comparison.

4. FRESH PRODUCE at amazing prices. Have you seen the prices for peppers, recently? Red peppers at Giant Eagle were $3.67/lb.  WHAT!!!!??? I don't think so! ALDI sells packs of beautiful red and yellow peppers for $2. Green pepper packs are 1.60/pack. Banannas are advertised at .39 /lb. WOW! Sure, you are only finding the basics in the produce dept... but... when don't we use the basics on a regular basis?  Check out their ad and be amazed.

5. Excellent comparable brands that rival the big name competitors. Now, I love granola cereal... but it can be expensive. I used to buy boxes of Kellogs granola for nearly $4/box. The same product at ALDI is $1.99/box. NO BRAINER, and it's delicious. ALDI has all of the kids cereals, too, and yes, they taste EXACTLY the same. Granted, there isn't a leprechaun or a tiger "represent'n" on the front of the boxes, but who cares?  Not this gangsta! And your kids won't be able to tell the difference. Your wallet, on the other hand, will. And that's a good thing!

Take ALDI's ONE WEEK CHALLENGE! Do all of your grocery shopping for a week, at ALDI and compare your receipts from the big-name stores. I guarantee that ALDI will slay the competition! And in today's economy, we need all the help we can get.

Food is...

Cibo. الغذاء. Libensmittel. Thực phẩm. τροφίμων. Pagkain. 食品.

No matter what language you speak, FOOD is universal. 

Food- it brings us together. Food is controversial. Food is something that we look forward to. Food is creative. Food has a 5 second rule. Food is gay. Food gets us to shut up for a few minutes. Food is frightening. Food keeps Charmin in business. Sometimes food is gross.  Sometimes food is MINDBLOWING! Food makes us fart. Food gives us an excuse to pair wine with it. Food can go bad. Food energizes. Food enables. Food is a vice. Food makes us thirsty. Food is fabulous. Food creates fat. Food can produce tears. Some food is produce. Women make food naturally. Food smells. Food is alive. Some food was alive. Food is a tradition. Food comes from plants. Food makes you poop. Food doesn't make you poop. Kids sneak food to the dog. Moms have a secret food stash. Food is comfortable. Food is spicy. Food feels good.  Food is... fabulous. Let's get cooking!